REVIEW: DiGiorno’s Pepperoni Croissant Crust Pizza

No matter how much 90’s nostalgia I hold onto in my neon-colored heart there’s one thing that rings unfortunately true in my mind – “it’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno” is total bullshit. I know, I know, the clever tag-line and “real rising crust” gimmick seems pretty cool, and I’ll admit that I was bamboozled by it at first too, but when it comes down to it it’s just not that good. Overly bready and carrying a bigger cost, both in terms of dollars and calories, DiGiorno is a brand that is quite frankly overrated. 

During quarantine I’ve had the opportunity to revisit frozen pizza in a way that I never thought possible. While I haven’t totally narrowed down my chilly power ranking, I can say that without a doubt I would put Tombstone, Tony’s, and Red Baron all above DiGiorno. Both their Original Rising and Stuffed Crust varieties left me feeling underwhelmed; but just when it felt like 2020 had run out of surprises I came across this…Croissant Crust Pizza.

Pulling the pizza out of the box it has a unique shape that meets in the middle of the two usual frozen pizza shapes – circle and square. It’s kind of boxy but also rounded – a funny little fella. Looking at the uncooked dough the layers of buttery pastry are evident and look very different than your average pizza. It’s pretty cool.

The baking time is a little longer than usual, which makes sense given its hefty thickness. Getting the pizza from the oven was a sight to behold – IT HAS RISEN! This pizza looks a lot bigger to me cooked than it did raw. I don’t know if it’s from its newfound height or the suddenly glistening impact of the pepperoni, but now that it has been baked it’s commanding my attention in a way no DiGiorno pizza has before. 

My main qualm with DG in the past has been it being too bread-forward with a sauce that didn’t quite do enough to stand up to it, lacking balance. That’s not the case with the Croissant Crust. It’s thick for sure, but it’s also buttery and flavorful in a way that compliments the zesty sauce and salty cheese. 

The immediate taste comparison I can draw from the croissant crust is Pillsbury’s Crescent Rolls. Soft and buttery on the inside with a gentle bouncy chew that gives way to slightly flaky and crispy crust. It’s good, it’s really good, and for the first time ever if I hadn’t bought and baked it myself, I might actually believe this was delivery. 

The balance is great and surprisingly complex. Usually frozen pizza almost always needs some ranch on the side by default, but here the buttery intrigue and textural play is enough to keep me engaged for my half of the pizza, and I’m really enjoying it.

Croissant Crust Pizza is the best pizza DiGiorno have ever made – simply put, it’s awesome. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a brand new release or because croissant’s are always more expensive, but this was a pricey pizza. The only thing holding this back from being absolutely top tier is its price, but even with the $8.99 I paid for it I’ll do it again, and I’m looking forward to it.


Rating: 9/10

Found at: Target ($8.99)

REVIEW: Baskin Robbins Cotton Candy Crackle

It’s been awhile. A long while. One year and three months, to be exact; since I last braced these pages. Sometimes life ebbs and flows in ways that doesn’t allow certain things to happen anymore, in this case, it was writing this blog. 

I’ve continued to do a little bit of writing with The Impulsive Buy but I’ve been spending a bulk of my time making music under the name SESPOOL. Certain emotional upheavals needed to be tended to that couldn’t be resolved within ice cream and snacks. But, as the world at large goes through a different kind of universal upheaval I’ve found myself with a little extra time and a need to dive into the the sweet and simple joys of life. A need to share in the collective joy of food. 

I’ve gotta be honest, at this point, few things sound more sweet, simple, and joyful than Baskin Robbins’ brand new Cotton Candy Crackle – a cotton candy ice cream with a cotton candy flavored ribbon and yellow poppin’ candy pieces. 

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REVIEW: Carrot Cake Oreo

As your resident sugar-loving spice-fiending food blogger boy there are few Oreo flavors I have been more excited for than Carrot Cake. With the onslaught of chocolate, mint, and bizarre fruit flavors we’re no doubt going to be bombarded with throughout the year, it’s a very welcome start to the Oreo New Year with something fresh and spicy. Essentially combining two of my favorite full time Oreo’s into one, Cinnamon Bun and Red Velvet, this feels like a surefire win from Nabisco’s cookie think tank. Carrot Cake Oreo combines a carrot cake flavored cookie with cream cheese frosting flavored crème.

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REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland

Some relationships start off on the wrong foot. I’m no Christmas-hating Grinch, in fact I’ve many times thought about a Frosty the Snowman tattoo, and I’m no weirdo chocolate mint hater either. But Ben & Jerry’s latest seasonal release and I have had a beef since before we even spooned for the first time. Minter Wonderland replaced Glampfire Trail Mix. Essentially taking away one of the best B&J releases in years after only SEVEN months, while many other sub par flavors continue to live long lives. I was shook, distraught, and still sad that such a wonderful creation could be gone so soon. No matter how deep in my feelings I was, and am, about Glampfire being retired, I’m willing to embrace this newest Target-exclusive with an open mind and semi-open heart. Minter Wonderland combines a dark chocolate mint ice cream with marshmallow and chocolate cookie swirls.

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Off the jump the dark chocolate mint base is rich and perfectly balanced with both dominant deep cocoa notes and cooling peppermint. Each flavor has a chance to shine in the spotlight while complimenting the other very well. As usual with Ben & Jerry’s the texture is smooth and creamy with a little extra thickness from the more heavy handed use of cocoa powder.

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B&J’s marshmallow swirl is one of their best, and the only element that Miss Minter shares with my beloved Glampfire, as well as my personal all timer Phish Food. As always it’s prominent and sticky-sweet providing both terrific flavor and texture to the decadent Christmasy pint. The white color pops hard against the extra dark base and provides some much needed snowy contrast.

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Another B&J’s staple, the chocolate cookie swirl, rounds out the experience. For those unfamiliar with the classic Milk & Cookies, these are basically Oreo crumbles swirling throughout the ice cream’s creaminess to bring an extra dose of chocolate and slight crunch to the otherwise squishy melty texture. It’s a great swirl, but unlike in Milk & Cookies where it gets a chance to really pop against the vanilla, they aren’t quite as effective, or prominent with the intensity of the dark chocolate mint. Still delicious, but a little lacking in thickness for my personal taste.

Rating: 8/10

Found at Target: $4.39

REVIEW: Baskin Robbins Trick Oreo Treat

For a very long time (at least 7 or 8 years), the Flavor of the Month at Baskin Robbins in October was Trick Oreo Treat. Until, of course, 2016, when this blog started and the first review was of the slightly modified and awesome Trick Oreo Treat Dark, followed up by last years okay Candy Bar Mashup. The flavor never disappeared, it always came back as a seasonal offering, but this year, much in line with Baskin Robbins’ recent lazy tendencies, it’s back in the prime time dip case slot with advertisements and hype galore. Since it hadn’t been the featured flavor it never got properly pinned on the skillet, so even though I’ve loved it in the past and found it a bit underwhelming in 2017, I’m gonna give it another go for the sake of my people. Trick Oreo Treat is described this year as “the ultimate Halloween haul” combining vanilla ice cream with orange crème filled Oreo pieces, Baby Ruth pieces, and Butterfinger pieces.

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REVIEW: Salt & Straw’s Mummy’s Pumpkin Spiced Potion (V)

I’m a sucker for some spooky shit. And if anyone knows how to get real goddamn spooky in October it’s Salt & Straw. Ice cream with blood and bugs has become standard affair for them, along with their ode to trick-or-treating classic The Great Candycopia. But they usually save their pumpkin flexing for Thanksgiving, and this year they’ve gifted us a new squashy delight ahead of the holiday’s. Mummy’s Pumpkin Spiced Potion is a vegan coconut based frozen dessert with dried pumpkin Pyschocandy tea from August Tea and candied pumpkin bits.

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REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s

It’s finally officially autumn. Which means that the inside of Trader Joe’s looks like a pumpkin goblin vomited all over the entire store. And it’s goddamn beautiful. While many brands started rolling out their spooky seasonal selection in August, Trader Joe’s tends to wait until a more tasteful mid-September, but when they bring it, they BRING it. Pumpkin soup and pumpkin chips and pumpkin spreads and pumpkin pasta and on and on and on. Of course, not excluding pumpkin cookies. Somehow in my autumnal escapades last year I didn’t pen my thoughts on Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s. In fact, I didn’t even eat them last year. But the time has come for me to formally enter TJ’s mock-eo into the pumpkin catalog. Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s are pumpkin sandwich cookies with a pumpkin cream filling.

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REVIEW: Baskin Robbins’ Chocolate Del Fuego

Putting spicy into sweets is one of the hottest trends in the junk food universe. Sweet Heat Skittles and Starburst, Fire Sour Patch Kids, Butterfinger Smokin’ Hot Peanut Butter Cups, Fiery Snickers, and recently even a spicy spin on the lunchbox staple Fruit By The Foot. Yet as this fad has blown up over the last couple of years, it hasn’t really crept its way into the frozen aisle. No Choco-Jalapeno Ben & Jerry’s or Chili Mango Haagen-Dazs have popped onto my radar, but Baskin Robbins made the call that September was the right time to drop their own take on a Mexican classic. Chocolate Del Fuego combines chocolate ice cream fused with hints of cinnamon and chili with chocolate chips and a spicy tres leches swirl.

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