REVIEW: Mystery Oreo Cookies

Nabisco seems to have heard my cries that I spend half of my expendable income on new fun snacks and want to gift me and the millions of other junk food fans across the globe with the opportunity to break off $50,000 in their name. The all new Limited Edition Mystery Oreo is on shelves now, and after giving us the chance to submit our own new flavors earlier in the year, the spotlight is now on the company for us to guess theirs.

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The cookies look extra thick, definitely of the Double Stuf variety, and the creme itself is a bit firmer and denser than what I’m used to with the other limited edition’s, most notably the recent Apple Pie, which were incredibly soft and almost melty. The flavor is sharp and sweet with a very citrus-forward profile lead by more lime than lemon, with a touch of orange, and an overall taste that screams Fruity Pebbles.

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The aroma is also extremely reminiscent of Sunday morning’s finest, and anyone who spent some time with the Flintstone’s in their youthful days will recognize it immediately. It’s hard to say definitively if it’s Fruity Pebbles, Froot Loops, Trix or another fruity mishmash breakfast cereal, but Pebbles are my favorite of the bunch and my mind is immediately brought to fond memories of their light airy crunch and pronounced sweetness. If the flavor isn’t specifically Fruity Pebbles I could toss some other guesses towards orange creamsicle, lemon lime, rainbow sherbet, cereal milk, chocolate orange, chocolate covered gummy bear, or dirt and worms – the classic kiddy dessert of chocolate pudding with gummy worms and crushed Oreo bits.

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I have a couple of junk food related regrets in my life, one of which is not buying a lone bag of Cooler Ranch Munchies I saw at a random gas station and haven’t seen since, and the other is not buying Fruity Crisp Oreo’s the one time I saw them. That’s right, the Oreo many deem to be the best limited one of them all, I only saw once, right before going out to dinner, and I didn’t buy them because I figured I could pick them up at home. Nope. Never saw them again, and my heart has been broken ever since. While those Oreo had the golden wafer, I can only assume, but not confirm, that these are essentially that same creme with a chocolate cookie. While it’s kind of unfortunate and lazy that Nabisco went that route instead of trying something new, I can’t deny that these are a solid cookie, albeit a bit odd, and one worth picking up if you like a sweet citrusy blast to go along with your chocolate.

Rating: 7/10
Found at: Safeway ($2.99)

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REVIEW: Limited Edition Firework Oreo

I’m no stranger to the junk food industry and our consumer-based society in general launching my tastebuds and wallet well into the future when it comes to holidays.  I’ve grown accustomed to seeing Valentine’s candy and cards pop up the day after Christmas, pumpkin-on-my-everything starting in August, and Christmas beginning on November 1st, but the latest Oreo release had me asking myself, “is it summer already?”.  The packaging, adorned with explosions and patriotic colors, stirred up memories of poorly lit bottle rockets, cheap beer, and the sweet scent of charcoal, aka, the Fourth of July.  Since we’ve only had six weeks of spring, the middle of summer seemed like a stretch, but then I realized, I’m a dummy, and for once, the cookie-peddlers have gotten their timing right – Memorial Day is May 29!  Just in time to pay our respects to the men and women serving our country, Nabisco have released Limited Edition Firework Oreo, which add explosive popping candy to the iconic chocolate creme sandwich.

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Opening the package reveals the slightly bittersweet and creamy smell you know and love from Oreo, with cookies that fit the smell-bill and look identical to the original except for little red and blue dots in the creme.  Biting in is exactly what you would expect – crunch, squish, and chocolate, but then right as the creme hits my tongue the party begins – POP.  The popping candy starts to sizzle via saliva activation, and I’ve gotta be honest it’s pretty damn fun.  The more you chew the more they dance, with continual bacon-in-a-skillet sound effects even after I swallow.

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The popping candy doesn’t change the flavor at all.  There is no strawberry or blueberry flavor added to the rocks, and the effect here is purely an experience rather than a taste.  It’s kind of impressive that they were able to present a product that looks and feels different but has the exact same flavor profile as the cookie that has been leading the pack for over 100 years.  While an additional candy flavor would have been fun, I suspect it might have come off as cloying, although I wouldn’t mind if they added a crazy flavor like grape to really funk the experience up.

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I’m kind of stumped how to rate this cookie.  The firework-spin doesn’t take away from the original Oreo at all, and in some ways even enhances it – just not with taste.  It also doesn’t really add anything particularly ground breaking that makes me feel like people HAVE to try this, but it’s got a serious fun factor that I can’t deny.  Since Oreo are my favorite grocery cookie of all time and they nailed the execution, I’ve gotta give them the benefit of a doubt with a solid thumbs up. While I think I would still take the Double Stuf over these for general munching, I wouldn’t mind seeing them pop up every Memorial Day for a fun-filled snack attack.

Rating: 8.5/10
Found at: Safeway ($2.99)

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REVIEW: Milka Oreo Choco-Mix

In the mighty realm of junky snacks sometimes there are releases that are just so seemingly ridiculous they actually work.  We’ve had Cotton Candy Oreo’s, Cinnamon Sugar Cheetos (Sweetos), Orange Crush Pop Tarts, and now, Milka Oreo Choco-Mix.  Yes, a trail mix made of cookies and chocolate, or, a semi-healthy snack made entirely unhealthy by removing any protein and fiber that may have once existed to provide a true hike-able energy boost.  After the successful launch of the Milka and Oreo collaborative candy bar, the company is bringing all of our big boy dreams to fruition with a poppable mix of both golden and chocolate mini Oreo cookies, chocolate candy buttons, and candy coated chocolate pieces.

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The mini Oreo’s are exactly what you would expect – miniature bite sized versions of the GOAT grocery cookie combining two wafter cookies and a thin layer of creme filling.  As always, the golden cookie has a soft vanilla flavor and the chocolate is slightly bitter.  The chocolate candy buttons are flat circular disks of Milka’s wonderful smooth and creamy milk chocolate that melt right when they hit my tongue and finish with a wonderful cocoa butter flavor that tastes high quality and compliments the crunchiness of the cookies.

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My least favorite part of the mix is the candy coated chocolate pieces, which taste and feel just like M&M’s but somehow just aren’t quite as good.  While these are milk chocolate just like the Mars staple, they don’t have as much pop and tasty flavor as the version I’m more familiar with.  They do add some additional crunch to the package, but are ultimately pretty forgettable and I wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.
What is most surprising about this mix, and why it is ultimately a success, is how good it is when you you get all components in one bite.  As any good trail mix should be, all the elements need to come together in a way that compliment each other and when I get a sturdy handful the flavor is greater than the sum of its parts.  Somehow, even amongst the wash of all the chocolate, the golden Oreo cuts through and adds some round vanilla shine to the bite and alleviates some of the cocoa-onslaught that makes up a big portion of the bag.

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Whether you like your trail mix devoid of any valuable nutrients or just dig a mix of different Oreo flavors, this is a solid product on its own that could also easily be mixed with some popcorn or pretzels to make a great sweet and salty table piece for your next big boy movie night.

Rating: 8/10
Found at: Walmart ($2.99)