REVIEW: Quest Hero Bars (all three flavors)

May 31, 2017May 30, 2017 / seansskillet / 1 Comment

Quest Hero bars are the protein bar giant’s macro friendly take on a candy bar, and as a person who’s actual knight in shining armor during the course of a bad day has been a real deal bar of chocolate, I can get behind this. The bars once again utilize the new and confusing artificial sweetener allulose, which is one of the cleanest tasting sweeteners out there, but not without some downsides. The jury is still out on exactly what kind of impact this ingredient has on the body, and as of now still has to be counted as sugar on the nutritional label, giving these Quest bars a significantly less macro-friendly look than their older tried and true siblings. Still significantly “less bad” than an actual candy bar, the Hero bars take the grainy “cereal” base from the Beyond Cereal bars, add an additional layer of gooey texture, and dip them into a creamy coating. The initial launch comes with three flavors – Blueberry Cobbler, Chocolate Caramel Pecan, and Vanilla Caramel.

Blueberry Cobbler:

Off the jump the texture on this bar is phenomenal – super soft and chewy with multiple layers and a lovely creamy coating. The dominant flavor is a very sweet and real tasting blueberry with a hint of acidity and no lingering artificial sugar taste. The second big flavor that creeps into the equation is graham cracker, and reminds of the Quest cereal waffle bar without the prominent syrup flavor and just a hint of cinnamon spice, which is no surprise since these bars use that same chewy granola-esque base.

One of my biggest gripes with Quest is the aggressive use of sucralose, and much like with the Beyond Cereal bars, the swap for allulose has really alleviated that problem almost entirely. The sugar flavor is very clean and true and has a more natural berry flavor than any bar I can recall having. This is my favorite blueberry bar that I’ve had and a very strong addition to the Quest catalog.

Rating: 8.5/10

Chocolate Caramel Pecan:

Slightly bitter cocoa-forward chocolate base with a decently thick layer of caramel on top. The flavor reminds me of a cheap brownie, not too strong of a nutty element but tastes almost nothing like what you would expect from a whey-dominant, “low sugar” protein bar, although the general profile is pretty predictable for a protein product. The caramel has a good chew, tastes decently authentic and has a slight saltiness that keeps the bar from being too sweet.

While this one is fine, it does have a slight artificial aftertaste, and with the worst macros of the three – highest calories and fat with the least amount of protein, I don’t think I would buy this one again.

Rating: 6.5/10

Vanilla Caramel:

This one again reminds me of the waffle cereal bar without the maple and instead a strong golden graham cracker sheen. It is very sweet with a nice smooth vanilla flavor and surprising salty pop on the finish. The salt cuts through in a way that gives a bit more of a salted caramel presence, which is nice considering the overall sweetness of the bar. There’s a little bit of a fake sugar sucarlose aftertaste on this one, not as strong as the chocolate but a bit more present than the Blueberry Cobbler, but still much less than your typical Quest bar.

Although there are almonds on the package and in the ingredients, I don’t get much almond flavor and there are just a couple random pieces in the top layer and a nuttiness is not prominent in the actual texture. This is one of the best tasting vanilla bars I have had and another one I would definitely buy again and could legitimately take the place of a white chocolate-y or caramel craving when watching calories.

Rating: 8/10

Overall this is a pretty impressive launch from Quest, and while the macros aren’t as good as the standard Quest bar the flavor is significantly better and will be pretty enjoyable for a lot of people, even those who don’t usually get down with protein bars.

REVIEW: Clancy’s Cinnamon Churro’s

May 1, 2017April 30, 2017 / seansskillet / 3 Comments

When I wrote about my love for Cheetos Sweetos last month a reader of the blog from Kansas City reached out to me and told me to slow down and back up because I didn’t know a damn thing until I had Clancy’s Cinnamon Churros. Okay…she didn’t really say it like that, but she said they were better, and a seasonal release from local grocery chain Aldi, and that if I really loved cinnamon sugar treats I needed to try them. Out of the kindness of her heart she waited for them to pop back up on shelves and sent a bag all the way to the bay area so I could try the heralded regional brand, so today, I try and put to the test, Clancy’s Cinnamon Churros.

Out of the bag these Cinnamon Churros look almost identical to the warm twisty braided bundles of yum from Taco Bell. They have a huge, sharp, and defined cinnamon smell that more closely resembles sniffing a bottle of ground cinnamon than a bag of chips. Biting in the crunch is serious. They’re hard yet airy with a delightful flavor that, much like the smell, is more cinnamon-forward than sweet or salty. The crunch is addictively fun, and the spice-level is spot on for someone like me that loves cinnamon.

Unlike Sweetos, there’s no underlining butteriness and not a single sign of greasiness either. The churros themselves are dry, but not in a bad way, more in a way that registers they were perfectly fried and dried so you get all the well-executed crunch factor without any leftover oil or undesirable texture.

The only thing I don’t like about these Churros is the fake sugar aftertaste when I finish a mouthful of cinny-delight. I didn’t notice it immediately, but after a second handful I had a distinct Splenda zing on my tongue that was surprising and took away from the great spicy flavor. Looking at the ingredients I wasn’t surprised at all to see sucralose listed right after cinnamon, and I find the use of the sweetener kind of puzzling. While it does keep the sugar content low, at 3 grams per serving, these aren’t marketed as a diet food so why sacrifice the taste to shed a couple grams of sugar? I eat plenty of products with sucralose in them, mostly protein bars and yogurt, but if I’m having a sweet and salty cinnamon snack I would prefer they just stick to their real sugar guns and give me the full cal goods.

As far as cinnamon-factor goes, these ARE better than Cheetos Sweetos, but I’ve gotta be honest, they’re pretty different. While these pack a huge crunch and authentic spice flavor, the Cheetos bring a softer butterier flavor that I enjoy just as much. The saddest part in all of this for cinna-sluts like myself is that BOTH of these products are seasonal and will always be hard to come across.

Rating: 8/10
Found at: Aldi Supermarkets

REVIEW: Haagen-Dazs Toasted Coconut Caramel

April 19, 2017April 18, 2017 / seansskillet / 1 Comment

Coconut is one of the most intensely polarizing flavors I have ever come across during my eating escapades. Some people love it and want to bask in its nutty glory in their coffee, on their donuts, in their curry, coating their chocolate, and on their shrimp. Others find the taste disgusting, and liken it to drinking a tub of sunscreen, with no enjoyable qualities either sweet or savory. It is for this reason, I think, that we don’t see nearly as many coconut ice creams lining the grocery freezers as any number of chocolate, vanilla, caramel, and berry varieties. Stepping up to the daring plate, much like they did with their intense Bourbon Praline Pecan flavor, Haagen-Dazs have delivered Toasted Coconut Caramel, which combines coconut ice cream with toasted coconut flakes and swirls of dulce de leche caramel.

Immediately upon scooping into this pint I’m smacked over the head with big, bold coconut flavor. The one-two punch of coconut ice cream with toasted coconut flakes leaves nothing to the imagination if you’re seeking a taste of the tropics, and I’m generally impressed with how strong the flavor is. The grittiness of coconut flakes could be off putting to some but I don’t mind the added chew and it doesn’t take away from the creamy indulgence that ice cream should be. There are so many coconut flakes that it’s nearly impossible to isolate the base and it’s unclear how much of the nutty flavor is coming from the ice cream as opposed to the flakes themselves, but it doesn’t really matter as the point is made and it is strong.

While the dulce de leche caramel in this flavor is perfectly fine and adds some extra sweetness to the equation, I can’t help but feel as though it could have been a lot better. It doesn’t really stand out much against the other two components, and even when I isolate some pure caramel on my spoon I don’t get much toasty caramel goodness – just sort of flat sugary goo. Maybe I’ve just been spoiled by so much extraordinary Salt & Straw caramel recently but I would love a little bit of salt or toasty darkened caramel as opposed to the standard dulce de leche to help elevate this pint to another level and add some extra depth of flavor.

The combination of the intensely toasted and textured coconut with the pure sweetness of the dulce reminds me a lot of Samoas Girl Scout cookies, and had they thrown in some chocolate chips or a fudge swirl this could have easily been branded as such. If you’re looking for a big blast of coconut in your ice cream this will definitely leave you satisfied, but ultimately there wasn’t enough going on in this flavor to be super crave-able or warrant a repeat purchase.
Rating: 7/10
Found at: Safeway ($3.99)

HOSTESS ROUNDUP: Chocolate Cake Twinkies, White Fudge Ding Dongs, Peanut Butter Ho Ho’s

March 30, 2017March 29, 2017 / seansskillet / Leave a comment

Earlier this year Hostess released three new spins on some of their established cakes, which, unlike most new/limited flavor varieties were available in the gas-station-classic single serve size instead of a big ole box of 8 or 10. This got me excited, since I love trying new products but rarely need that many – it was a golden opportunity to taste without commitment. The hunt was real for these bad boys, as it took me nearly two months and three different locations to track them all down. Conveniently, all three of these cakes are being released in big box grocery format this week, so if any of these treats sound too tantalizing to deny, you can get em in a ten pack. Alright Hostess, let’s round em up!

Chocolate Cake Twinkies

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A very basic but surprisingly interesting and successful twist to the golden sponge cake classic. It’s less greasy than yellow Twinkies but more moist than a Suzy Q, which are notoriously dry with an odd stiffness. The cake itself has a moderate chocolate flavor that reminds me of Cocoa Puffs with a light sweet profile that steers clear of any bitterness.

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The cream filling is same as any hostess product, and works well in tandem with the chocolate sponge, which overall tempers the sweetness compared to a normal Twinkies. I enjoyed eating this a lot more than I anticipated and I would probably even buy them again!

Rating: 7.5/10

White Fudge Ding Dongs

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A fluffy, fairly one-noted sweet vanilla cake. Surprisingly less sweet than its closest competitor, Little Debbie’s Zebra Cakes, it has a noticeably rich almost buttery flavor to it. The white fudge coating is soft and does have a slightly smoother less waxy coating than your typical Hostess outer layer. It feels a bit thicker, which is maybe the desired effect of “fudge”.

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The cream filling pops a lot less than a regular Ding Dong because of the already vanilla-sweet cake and coating. It’s more moist than the original Dong with a greater/equal distribution of cream filling that leads to an overall creamy bite. It’s not bad but it isn’t really all that great either; and I’m generally a fan of white cake with white frosting.

Rating: 6/10

Peanut Butter Ho Hos

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I’ve never had a Hostess product with peanut butter in it and I am now a happy boy. The overall flavor is still very sweet with the dominant taste being the light chocolate of the Ho Ho cake and outer coating. It would be nice if there was a big authentic salty PB presence to offset the sweet, but it comes off more like a sweet peanut butter frosting than true butter (which isn’t much of a surprise).

hoho2

Still, it’s peanut butter and the nuttiness is a welcome addition to the Ho Ho’s inner swirl which makes the cake overall more dynamic and interesting. That being said, it doesn’t deliver the same PB satisfaction as a Reese’s or Little Debbie’s PB creme pie so I’m not sure this would be my go to in the future if I was having a cake-y peanut butter craving.

Rating: 7/10

REVIEW: Cheetos Sweetos Caramel Puffs

March 22, 2017March 22, 2017 / seansskillet / Leave a comment

When I was a young lad frequenting Taco Bell more than my adult-self would like to admit, I always walked in thinking about tacos and left tasting like cinnamon and sugar. Taco Bell’s warm cinna-sugar churro-y twists were an irresistible way to leave the restaurant, and even though they might not have been part of my initial order, 75% of the time I would grab an order of them to go – happily munching my way to the sidewalk. Two years ago when Cheetos announced their new Cinnamon Sugar Sweetos for Easter, I immediately drew a comparison to my TB trips and was not disappointed. The Sweetos have continued to make seasonal appearances for both Easter and Christmas over the last couple of years, and new for this year is a second flavor – Caramel. As someone who’s diet has individual spots in the pyramid for both cinnamon AND caramel this is one of the most exciting releases of 2017 so far and I am ready – to – crunch.

The bag has a big sweet caramel aroma that hints at kettle corn and funnel cake with its combination of sweet, salty, and dangerous. The egg shape is just as I remember, with the extra squiggles in the middle providing more surface area than the Christmas time “O”, and absorb more magical Cheeto dust. Going in for my first handful I’m surprised that they taste a lot less sweet than they smelled; they definitely have a caramel flavor but it leans more towards smooth and buttery than sweet and silky. As with the cinnamon flavor, there’s no notable corn taste like you get with cheesy Cheetos, and the base itself is relatively neutral.

The texture is super light and airy with a pillowy crunch that begins to dissolve as quickly as I start chomping, and before I know it the 25 count serving size has evaporated inside of me. As with most bags of chips there are some pieces that are more heavily coated than others, and those darker ones are really tasty, but the less dressed ones are are a bit bland and flat. Fortunately, the Caramel Puff Sweetos are less greasy than the Cinnamon Sugar so the naked ones aren’t gross, just boring.

These Sweetos are very true to the original version – light, crunchy, sweet, and for me, not at all weird – but they just aren’t as awesome as the OG. The absence of cinnamon means less of a distinguished pop, and while this caramel iteration is still good, it doesn’t have the same great balance that the cheetah-bunny delivered to us two years ago. However, that doesn’t mean that these aren’t addictive and nearly impossible to stop eating, it just means that my allegiance stands strong with the inner cinna-demons and these come in second to their deliciousness.

Rating: 8/10

REVIEW: Entenmann’s Little Bites Party Cakes

March 1, 2017February 26, 2017 / seansskillet / Leave a comment

Who doesn’t love a good birthday party? Better yet who doesn’t love a good birthday cake? Even BETTER yet who doesn’t love BABIES? If you aren’t evil and agree with all of those statements, then there may be a new junk food staple you can add to your forbidden cabinet of goodies. Welcome to your next sweet tooth get together, the baby-sized Entenmann’s Little Bites Party Cakes. The fun-sized cakes come in pouches of four poppable muffin-shaped cakes and can be found in the fiesta aisle near you.

The cakes themselves are small and moist with an oily sheen that should be familiar to anyone who has ever had any snack cake made by Entenmann’s, Hostess, or Little Debbie. The “party cake” tag is essentially Funfetti, or, a lightly flavored vanilla cake decked out with sprinkles and extra sweetness. The aroma is pure white cake, with that store bought or boxed mix swagger that harkens back to all of my birthday parties from ages three through twelve. They taste just like an unfrosted cupcake, or non-fruity muffin, with a buttery undertone that balances out the sugar for a pretty pleasant experience.

Texturally there’s not much going on here. The sprinkles have fully dissolved in the baking process and don’t add any crunch or grit for an entirely smooth single noted experience. They’re soft and moist with a gentle chew that would make it easy to pop about fifteen of them without blinking an eye.

I can’t help but feel that although they are good, the absence of frosting or any type of crunch leaves some room for improvement. This isn’t the worst of things, seeing as frosting, peanut butter, Nutella, and any other type of spread you may have lying around could easily create four different mini cupcakes with a nice, vanilla cake base. There is absolutely nothing offensive about these cakes, nor is there anything particularly mind blowing. They’re a tasty, well executed version of one of the most beloved and whimsical types of cake you can find at roller rinks, bowling alley’s, and mini golf courses on a ten year old’s big day all across our fine country.

Rating: 7.5/10

Sean's Skillet

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