REVIEW: Suzy Q’s (“Even Better Tasting”, 2018)

The bitch is back, and she’s bringin’ the thicc-ness. No, I’m not talking about Elton John, I’m talking about snack cakes, of course, and not that perma-smirkin’ Little Debbie either. I’m talkin’ about the oft-forgotten about clunky, chunky, highly criticized girl named Suzy Q.

Growing up I felt like the only weirdo that actually liked Suzy Q’s. Like most Hostess products they were essentially the same ingredients put into a different shape, but Suzy took all of the glamour out of it – no rolls, no hidden filling, no chocolate coating. Naked and exposed sponge cake with a layer of frosting. That’s it. And I loved ‘em. Then again, I also loved Sno Balls, Raspberry Zingers, and pretty much any and all quick fix cake injections, so I guess I’m just a fiend. While not nearly as pretty as a Cupcake garnished with a perfect white twirl, I always admired Suzy’s heftiness and stripped down nature, and for 2018 she’s back; “even better tasting”, and bigger than ever.

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While most Hostess products, and junk food in general, seem to be trending towards smaller more reasonable portion sizes (smart), the new Suzy Q’s take a page out of Carl’s Jr’s “fuck it” book and go for the ultimate indulgent plus-size. The box proudly sports the fact that these new Suzy’s contain both 50% more crème AND 50% more cake, which can only mean they’re…50% bigger. Grabbing onto one of the cellophane logs definitely confirms their boosted stature – these lassies are large and in charge (of my inability to resist them).

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The crème is positively oozing out of the sides and they definitely live up to what the box hypes. Suzy Q’s crème always felt a bit grittier and thicker than the type that fills Twinkies and Ding Dongs, and while it definitely feels denser than average, I think they smoothed it out, and that’s a good thing. It’s incredibly sweet with a vanilla-leaning flavor that tastes a lot like generic grocery store frosting. The more ample amount of it means you can really dive into the frosting experience like a corner slice, and it’s pretty great.

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One of the issues with Q’s back in the day was the cake itself always felt a bit dry. I’m not sure if that’s from the lack of coating, or just the nature of the cocoa-heavy recipe, but that issue seems to be remedied here. The big pieces of sponge are moist and sugary with a nice chocolate flavor that offsets the more straight ahead sweetness in the crème. This is the closest you’re going to get to eating an actual piece of cake from a plastic wrapper, and it’s quite satisfying.

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Whatever Hostess did when they took Suzy back to the lab and transformed her into a monster really worked, as this face lift is a great addition to Hostess’ lineup of guilty pleasure treats. Part whoopie pie, part sponge cake, part trashy indulgence, and a pure joy to smash in a creamy frenzy.

Rating: 8.5/10

Found at: FoodsCo ($2.99)

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One thought on “REVIEW: Suzy Q’s (“Even Better Tasting”, 2018)

  1. Even these “new and improved” ones suck. The cake is a lot better, yes, but the creme tastes like little Debbie Swiss rolls. Chalky and pasty and not rich and creamy and SWEET! Come on Hostess, I didn’t freeze my butt off delivering your goods in Boone Iowa, for these clunkers.

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