food reviews

REVIEW: Dreyer’s-Edy’s Triple Peanut Butter

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“You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”.

A phrase that echoes through my mind every time I crush another jar of unassuming, innocent, beautiful peanut butter. That last, slightly too chunky, extra salty spoonful that lines the bottom of the glass or plastic is always so bittersweet, and if I’ve learned anything in life, it’s stock up on the things you can’t live without. Sometimes that means buying two jars of peanut butter at a time so you never run out, and sometimes it means seeking out products that only utilize the best flavors mother nature provides. Living up to this mantra, Dreyer’s are kicking off 2018 with a new ice cream that stacks goodness on top of goodness with a little extra goodness in Triple Peanut Butter, which combines peanut butter light ice cream with a peanut butter ribbon and mini chocolate peanut butter cups.

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REVIEW: Diet Coke Ginger Lime, Twisted Mango, Zesty Blood Orange, and Feisty Cherry

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When you’re trying to die a little slower, soda is the first thing you should give up. Many years ago when I wanted to try and dial in my health a bit, I dropped regular soda drinking from meals all together, and while getting a big ass Dr. Pepper with my cheeseburger on a Saturday night used to be a lot of fun, I can’t remember the last time I did that. Nowadays if I divulge in a little brown bubbly I tend to lean towards the diet stuff, which is still not that great for you, but at least it isn’t 150 calories of drinking something that leaves you parched. The dehydrating-hydrators at Coca Cola really tempted my limited time tastebuds at the beginning of this year by rolling out 4 new Diet Coke’s in a newly styled tall skinny can, and goddammit I had to try them all!

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REVIEW: Baskin Robbins’ Cannoli Be With You

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Cannoli are an Italian-American staple made of fried pastry dough stuffed with a sweet and creamy ricotta or marscarpone filling that I’m unfortunately pretty uneducated on. I’ve only had the pleasure of eating cannoli a few times, and it’s been a couple of years since my lips braced the delicious Sicilian dessert. For as often as I’ve indulged in a cream filled doughnut, I’m honestly a bit ashamed by my lack of cannoli consumption, and I think a great late New Year’s resolution is to eat more of them. Just in time to get my resolution on track, Baskin Robbins have introduced a brand new pun-tastic flavor of the month for February. Cannoli Be With You combines mascarpone ice cream with chocolate chips, cannoli shell pieces and roasted pistachios.

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REVIEW: Kashi Cinnamon French Toast

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My experience with Kashi cereal goes something like this: I was told I needed to get some more fiber in my diet so I bought a box of GOLEAN Crunch! I had a serving or two, it tasted pretty good, and then I proceeded to have the most intensely loud and continuous gas of my life for the next two hours. I’m not kidding, I farted for HOURS, and I had my roommates try the cereal to make sure I wasn’t insane. Shortly after munching, they proceeded to audibly explode. I tried it again a couple of days later, and sure enough, I erupted just like before, and I decided in that moment to stay the hell away from Kashi…until now. Brand new to the healthy cereal aisle, and impossible for my cinna-dar to ignore is Kashi’s Cinnamon French Toast.

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REVIEW: Kit Kat Ice Cream

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As a bonafide ice cream lover I don’t pay too much attention to Dreyer’s. I’ve had my fair share of their products over the span of my life, but the end result is usually pretty lackluster, like last years Pumpkin Spice Latte, so I don’t feel a need to seek out their newest releases. That being said, sometimes packaging can jump out at me so convincingly as I slowly peruse the frozen aisle that I can’t help but stop; as was the case with the recently re-branded Kit Kat ice cream. In 2016 Dreyer’s released a line of candy bar themed cream’s including 100 Grand, Baby Ruth, and, you guessed it, Kit Kat. They’ve changed the packaging to more closely mimic the wrapper of a candy bar, and although the container doesn’t explicitly state this, they also changed the base from their normal higher fat Grand style to the lighter variety usually reserved for Slow Churned. The new Kit Kat ice cream combines chocolate light ice cream with a wafer swirl and pieces of Kit Kat candy.

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REVIEW: JC Scoops’ Cinnamon Chocolate Churro

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In the United States we have doughnuts, and in Spain they have churros. The long fried sticks of dough covered in cinnamon and sugar are a delicious treat often served for breakfast with hot chocolate, coffee, and dulce de leche. The marriage of sparkly sweet dough and chocolate or caramel is a match made in heaven, and while I prefer mine with a nice black coffee, the choco-churro combo cannot be denied. Continuing their fascination with breakfasts’ sweet treats, JC’s Scoops have unleashed Cinnamon Chocolate Churro, which combines sweet brown sugar and cinnamon ice cream with ribbons of chocolate fudge and pieces of sugar-dusted churros.

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REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Blasted Shreds

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In the history of the breakfast cereal universe there may be nothing more boring than Shredded Wheat. Okay…there’s Grape-Nuts, but I actually find something endearing and delicious about those little fiber-packed granules all soaked and sloshy in milk. But in all seriousness, Shredded Wheat is real damn drab. The mini variety with a coating of “frosting” over the top are a definite improvement, but would anyone really take those over Lucky Charms, Honey Bunches of Oats, Fruity Pebbles, or even good ole’ Cheerios? Most likely not, but General Mills, as clever and crafty as ever, are turning to the age old solution of curing boredom at any given time or event – getting absolutely blasted. That’s right, just like your introverted uncle at the quinceañera, welcome to the party Cinnamon Toast Crunch Blasted Shreds.

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REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Baked Churro Bites

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Trader Joe’s ain’t no slouch when it comes to making house brand snacks. Their Honey Wheat Pretzel Sticks, Multigrain Crackers, and Organic Peanut Butter’s rival anything you can get from a big brand. And last year’s Cornbread Crisp’s? One of the best chili co-pilot’s you’ll find anywhere. Comin’ in strong for 2018 TJ’s have unleashed a new snack gunning straight for my cinnamon-soaked heart with Baked Churro Bites.

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REVIEW: Buff Bake Protein Sandwich Cookies (Snickerdoodle and Double Chocolate)

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At times silly, at times successful, and always divisive, the protein cookie game is an ever growing, and now evolving, market. While the end goal for most companies has been to produce a product that most closely mirrors a soft baked homestyle chewy craveable cookie, Buff Bake are pushing the field into uncharted and beloved territory – the Oreo. Buff Bake are mostly known for their protein-infused spreads, which I had one time and was underwhelmed by, and their Lenny & Larry’s-esque soft baked cookies, which, again, are just alright. However, their new line of Protein Sandwich Cookies promise the creme-filled satisfaction of the grocery GOAT with an added boost of protein. Each package contains four cookies for 220 calories, 13 grams of fat, 16 grams of carbs, 12 grams of protein, and, gasp, 12 grams of sugar.

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