REVIEW: “Sweet Salty” Birthday Cake Popcorn

I love popcorn. I also love cake (see earlier Nuts ‘N More post). When I saw this plainly labeled small red bag of popcorn that boldly read BIRTHDAY CAKE at Target I immediately took a step back and had a greater appreciation for food science. Yes, a lot of folks will say the birthday cake flavor trend is old news but I still get down with it and I am hooked on the crunch of the corn, so I grabbed a bag (or three) and went in with realistic expectations.

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Immediately the bag hits you with a soft vanilla aroma that floats with the springiness of spongecake. It isn’t extremely sharp and harsh like a vanilla extract nor is it too artificial or overly sweet. Although not as strong, the aroma isn’t too far off from marshmallows, but closer to the kind you would find in Lucky Charms than a big bag of Jet-Puffed. The popcorn looks mainly plain and white with occasional small specks of color that are probably supposed to give a nod to sprinkles.

Popcorn is naturally fluffy so the texture play here actually works really well. Initially the difference between popcorn and cake seems gigantic, but when you have them together the fluffiness of the kernels and the sweetness of the seasoning does actually register “cake” with my tastebuds. The cereal-esque marshmallow smell definitely comes to life in the flavor with a dominant sweet vanilla powderiness that is pleasant for repeated crunching.

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I’m sure something like this has been done before, but most likely in a higher sugar coated kind of popcorn, more like a caramel corn or “drizzle corn”. Those things are good but I like my popcorn as more of an abundance snack than rich hyper intense dessert. Although not the strongest birthday cake flavor, the subtle sweet powdered execution on Target’s “Sweet Salty” brand birthday cake popcorn is a win for me; something that works well on its own or mixed with a salty crunch buddy like Skinny Pop, Smartfood, or Boom Chicka Pop – my three faves.

Rating: 7/10

REVIEW: Nuts ‘N More Birthday Cake High Protein Peanut Spread

One of the most triumphant moments in anyone’s proper birthday celebrations is the inevitable leftover birthday cake and the ensuing morning of really owning that birth crown and having cake for breakfast.  Thanks to the folks at Nuts ’N More, who are celebrating their fifth birthday, we have one more excuse to have cake for breakfast before our big day with the limited release of their Birthday Cake high protein and peanut spread.

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Visually it’s festive as hell, with sprinkles dotting every surface, and the cake flavor is pretty strong.  If I had to officially assign it a cake flavor it would probably be yellow cake, with its eggy density being more dominant than a vanilla or “white” kind of cake.  In fact, there really is no prominent vanilla flavor, which is impressive, as oftentimes companies will label something as cake when its taste is simply vanilla with some decorative flair.  It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what the flavor of “cake” is – sugar, butter, eggs, flour – but we all know it and love it and the essence is definitely triggering that part of the birthday brain.

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Of the eight ingredients sugar is the third and sprinkles are the sixth, so the Nuts ’N More folks were being real when they said it was time to celebrate.  This isn’t a low sugar affair like many other protein nut butters out there, which helped them be successful in not having to mask an abundant use of artificial sweeteners or skimp on the ‘sprinks.  The higher amount of sugar also helps keep the butter more solid, with a lot less oil separation than you usually find in Nuts ’N More products.  It required very little mixing when first opened and the initial texture is pretty much the texture the spread stays.

Speaking of texture, this butter is definitely on the grainier side, with a sugar crystal crunch in every bite.  The crunchiness goes beyond the sprinkles and feels like an un-cooked cake batter with its granulated sugar waiting to be baked into fluffy glory.  I can’t decide whether or not I like this textural play and whether or not it was intentional.  It doesn’t bother me but I also kind of wish it had the velvety smooth texture of one of D’s Natural’s peanut-based Fluffbutters.

The crunchy texture issues get greatly remedied when used as a spread on a warm piece of bread and not eaten straight out of the jar like a savage (my preferred method).  Putting the spread on a toasted english muffin and letting the cake melt into the yeasty crevices smoothed out the texture and gave it more velvety satisfaction – I can imagine this would be insanely good on a stack of warm pancakes or waffles.

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Overall this is a solid-tasting protein spread that would be a welcome addition to any breakfast, snack, or dessert, and is a fun way to switch it up from regular or flavored peanut butters.  For the extra sugar I’m not sure it’s different enough from their Salted Caramel or Toffee Crunch flavors to warrant ordering online for the average consumer but I will certainly be scraping my container clean and savoring every spoonful before my actual birthday in January when I will eat as much real cake as humanely possible.

Rating: 8/10

BAR BATTLE: Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Cream vs. Chocolate Crunch

After the insanely impressive success of the White Chocolate Cookie bar and the relative letdown of Caramel Chaos, it seemed only fitting to pit Grenade’s two U.S. available chocolate flavored bars – cream and crunch – in a completely irrelevant and awesome bar battle to the death.  In reality this is just two reviews crammed into one, but all that sounds pretty fun doesn’t it?

First up – Chocolate Cream.

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This bar has a chocolate cream center with a layer of caramel coated in milk chocolate, all revolving around a whey protein base.  Unfortunately, this bar was neither creamy or particularly chocolatey and resulted in immediate disappointment.

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The inside looked gorgeous, with a fluffy protein core topped by thin whispy caramel and was very similar to the Caramel Chaos without the elements that made that bar redeemable – the caramel flavor and crisp crunch.  The promised flavor fell completely flat and left me searching for more bite after bite.

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This bar is fine, as in passable, but it isn’t adding anything new to the protein bar game, which a truly creamy chocolate bar would.  When I hear chocolate cream I think of truffles or the center of a Cadbury egg, or at the very least a rich deep cocoa flavor, and none of those were present in this bar.  What’s good about this bar is the same thing that makes white cookie so great without any notable strong flavors or inventiveness.  Ultimately it’s perfectly edible and has solid macros but isn’t replacing any of the other established chocolate protein bars (Combat Crunch, Quest) that have been doing it for years.

Rating: 6/10

And the challenger – Chocolate Crunch.

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This bar comes in a golden wrapper – does that mean it’s actually the reigning champ and not the challenger?  Is this foreshadowing?  Yes.  This bar is solid.

The name “Chocolate Crunch” is a bit misleading because a prominent flavor in this bar is peanuts.  Listed in the description, peanuts, in both their taste and texture, play a bigger role in making this bar successful than the chocolate, which is present but greatly amplified by the nuts.  The half real, half artificial (you know the taste) flavor of peanuts is the first and last thing you taste, rounded out very nicely by the coating of chocolate.
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Speaking of successful, the caramel here is very different than the other three bars – it’s thick and solid with a chewy texture that is new and awesome.

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This bar, much like its white chocolate all star, is channeling a liquor store classic – SNICKERS.  The peanuty protein base becomes distinctly like the texture of nougat and the nuts and caramel work together to complete the package.  This isn’t as dead-on of a copy as the white cookie but it took me by pleasant surprise that this bar tasted nothing like I expected.  I didn’t anticipate the bar to taste bad I just had no idea it would take me back to the candy aisle and eager to reach for another.

Rating: 8/10

Chocolate Crunch absolutely destroys Chocolate Cream and will earn its slot in any Snickers-loving protein bar munchers’ rotation with ease.  A great nutritional profile with flavor to back it up, the gold wrapper is a fitting home for a bar that channels one of the greatest candies of all time.

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OOEY GOOEY CHAMPION!

REVIEW: flapJACKed Double Chocolate Mighty Muffin

I have been cautiously eyeballing flapJACKed Mighty Muffin’s for quite awhile.  The “powder turned fluffy muffin” carton was intriguing, with very similar macros to the protein bars I enjoy on a daily basis, all happening with 35 magical seconds in the microwave.  Admittedly, I was skeptical of the ability to get a good muffin texture in such short time for only 21 grams of carbs, but the might of the muffin left me pleasantly surprised.

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FlapJACKed specializes in a protein fortified pancake mix, which they’ve cleverly branded and packaged into a portable muffin mixture with protein, fiber, and probiotics.  Opening the container it looks like a store bought cake mix, and smells like one minus all the tasty sugar crystals and plus some stevia and odd earthy notes.  Pour in 1/4 cup of water, mix it into a goop, pop it in the micro, and ta-da – you have yourself a muffin.

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Mixture before the micro-zap

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Ta-da! Waddup muffin man

This is where my expectations started to be exceeded.  The muffin came out like a fluffy chocolate brownie, with the very top slightly underdone and gooey in the best way.  Seeing a cup of wet mix turn into a gorgeous rounded muffin was impressive, and lived up to the name.  There is a little bit of a strange smell from the cooked product that reminded me of dry cat food, but it wouldn’t hold me back from digging in.

The taste is dominated by a deep bitter cocoa that finishes with the flavor of the primary sweetener stevia, which I find more cloying and distracting than the Sucralose finish.  For a product with 7 grams of sugar I think the artificial tail on the flavor is a bit of a letdown, but is still a good tradeoff to the 30 or more grams of sugar you would find in a traditional muffin.  Every three or so bites you’ll come across a bittersweet chocolate chip which adds to the dark cocoa taste and helps earn its Double Chocolate name.  The good, but not great, flavor of the muffin gets greatly improved with the addition of some sliced banana and/or peanut butter, but then again, what doesn’t?

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Where this product really succeeds, and what makes it unique, is its texture.  They nailed the muffin mouth feel, with not only high protein and low carbs but gluten free as well.  I’ve had many gluten free muffins that don’t compare to the texture of the Mighty Muffin and this is the element that will have me trying another flavor or two down the line.  Far from perfect, this is a fun take on portable protein to mix it up from bars or powders.

Rating: 7/10

Quick Nutrition: Calories: 220 – Fat cals: 80 – Total Fat: 8g – Cholesterol: 5mg – Sodium: 350mg – Total Carb: 21g – Fiber: 6g – Sugars: 7g – Protein: 20g

RECIPE: Whole Wheat Spicy Gingerbread Muffins

Happy Holidays! It’s officially the best time of the year – full of foggy breath, peppermint, egg nog, and GINGERBREAD. Yes, one of the greatest flavors of the season is the merry marriage of molasses and spice. These muffins mostly focus on the moist bready aspect of the ginger experience, but one of the best parts of eating a good gingerbread man cookie is the cutting sweetness of the icing on his head, arms, and belly. I add just a touch of white chocolate to emulate that occasional sweetness that gives a little whimsy to your typical ginger muffin.

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I like to do my baking in small batches, so when I find recipes in books or online I tend to cut them in half, which takes some math and some guessing – expertly reflected here.  I also like my spice-cake recipes pretty aggressive so here’s my take on some whole wheat, “kinda healthy but let’s not act like it’s not a muffin” gingerbread muffins.  Recipe makes six muffins, to make a full batch of 12 just double all the measurements.

What you’ll need:

1/4 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt (can substitute all cream or yogurt if preferred)

1 cup white whole wheat flour (or any kind of flour you like)
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon cloves
A couple cracks fresh black pepper
Turbinado sugar for topping (and/or other coarse sugar)

1/3 cup white chocolate chips/chunks

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Melt the coconut oil and whisk with molasses.

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In another bowl whisk egg, maple syrup, sour cream, yogurt, and ginger. Let it come to room temperature or microwave 30-40 seconds. Add the creamy mixture to the molasses and whisk until combined.

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In another smaller bowl add the flour, baking soda, salt, cloves, black pepper, and cinnamon.  Mix them together well and then stir into wet ingredients until just combined. Fold in white chocolate.

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Spoon evenly into muffin tin sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Top evenly with turbinado sugar and other sugars if you have them (I used turbinado and red decorating sugar). Top each muffin with a little shake of cinnamon.

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Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until the tops are firm to the touch and a fork/toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.  Stand over the oven and inhale the insanely delicious smelling warm air taking over your kitchen.

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Eat share and enjoy!!!

 

 

REVIEW: Oh Yeah! ONE Pumpkin Pie

Happy Thanksgiving eve everyone.  Ahead of the biggest most extravagant eating day of the year I thought I would post one last seasonal protein bar review in honor of the day’s most acclaimed dessert…

If Quest bars were crowned the king of the portable protein world (they are), then coming in at a strong second would be the ONE lineup by Oh Yeah! Nutrition. I don’t mean to imply that Quest and ONE are my personal favorites, but they without a doubt have the strongest presence at gyms, supplement stores, grocery stores, and even gas stations.  Oh Yeah! have joined the pumpkin party with a seasonal release in honor of autumn’s favorite pie, which marks the twelfth release for the ONE brand.

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The first thing I noticed when biting in is the texture is softer than all other ONE bars. I’m not sure if this is intentional or the extra fresh nature of a seasonal release, but it works well to emulate the dense yet fluffy texture of pumpkin pie. The drizzle on top is aesthetically pleasing and the aroma carries a gentle waft of cinnamon that is neither unique or offensively strong. Unfortunately, beyond cinnamon there are no other distinct spices that can truly be tasted, some of which, like nutmeg and cloves, should be present to really feel like pumpkin pie.

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Where this bar is an absolute glowing success though, is the undeniable presence of the taste of crust. Somehow the Oh Yeah! company have managed to emulate that bready flaky flavor into a soft squishy bar. Every other bite you get hit with a burst of sea salt like you’ve scooped off the pies’ innards and went straight for the base. Much like the buttery aura of their Cinnamon Roll bar, ONE have managed to pull off the ultimate mind trick and put forth one of the most interesting flavor simulations I’ve ever had in a protein bar.

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While far from perfect at hitting all of the spicy complexities of pumpkin pie, the ONE bar version is without a doubt the best attempt I’ve had so far. Not as solid as some of the others in their permanent lineup but still better than a lot of other options on the market.

Rating: 8/10

REVIEW: Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Cookie

Grenade is a United Kingdom based protein supplement company founded in 2010, apparently dominating everyone’s post-workout fix world wide except me.  As someone who does most of his whey protein intake through bars I’m always looking for new flavors and textures to entice my palate.  When the Carb Killa bars popped up at my local GNC the packaging was interesting and I grabbed two of the available flavors.  The first one I tried, Caramel Chaos, had really great texture but was generally lacking in any notable flavors, despite the fact that it was the only protein bar I’ve had to actually have caramel.  The second bar – White Chocolate Cookie – changed everything.

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Carb Killa’s are triple-layered bars combining a whey protein base with gooey caramel and crunchy bits, then dipped in either a white or milk chocolate.  The White Chocolate Cookie bar has a milky white caramel beneath pieces of chocolate cookies and looks almost identical to the Hershey’s Cookies and Cream candy bar.  It is without a doubt one of the most uniquely flavored and well executed protein bars I have ever had.

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The three textures interact with each other to create a seamless snacking experience, leaving almost nothing to be desired.  White chocolate is the first ingredient, and the flavor is strong and pronounced with the use of cocoa butter and whole milk powder.  Many of the issues that plague protein bars – grainy bases, overly sweet fake sugars, or too much fake fiber, are all nonexistent here.  The bar is just sweet enough to emulate the candy bar it looks up to without becoming over the top or artificial.

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This might be one of the rare cases where a protein supplement trying to mimic an established junk food product actually surpasses the real thing.  The addition of the caramel offers a more complex mouth feel than the Hershey’s bar and with 22 grams of protein and only 2 grams of sugar I can’t imagine myself ever choosing the candy over the killa.

In the United States Carb Killa bars are available in four flavors – Caramel Chaos, Chocolate Cream, Chocolate Crunch, and the sensational White Chocolate Cookie.  I plan on trying the two chocolate flavors as soon as possible, and being on the lookout for some of the more obscure UK-available flavors like Banana Armour and White Chocolate Mocha to make a Stateside appearance soon.

Rating: 9.5/10

Quick Nutrition: Calories: 220 – Fat Cal: 70 – Fat: 8g – Sat Fat: 4g – Sodium: 150mg – Total Carb: 21g – Fiber: 6g – Sugars: 2g – Sugar Alcohol: 13g – Protein: 22g

REVIEW: Jack’s Prime Gobble Gobble Burger

In the realm of burgers there are real burgers, you know, the one’s made with beef or occasionally bison or something fancy, and chicken burgers, and veggie burgers, and then there are…turkey burgers.  The forever less loved patty, standing lonely from the outside looking in, will only get ordered by those avoiding red meat, watching their cholesterol, or suffering from generally broken taste buds.  No one in the history of the world woke up, mapped out their dinner plans, and said “damn, I am REALLY craving a turkey burger…”.  Pause.  Enter – Jack’s Prime.

Full disclosure, Jack’s Prime in San Mateo is my favorite burger spot in the bay area, and it’s one of the few places I will return to eat at at least once a month.  Part of the appeal of return visits for me is a rotating cast of monthly burger specials, and for the month of November it’s their take on a turkey burger called the Gobble Gobble.  The Gobble Gobble burger is a Diestel Ranch turkey patty topped with cheddar cheese, apple cranberry chutney, house made stuffing, romaine lettuce, and mayo on an onion bun.  Yes, it is Thanksgiving dinner in a single bite, and don’t worry, there are potatoes-a-plenty on the side.

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The Gobble Gobble burger with sweet potato fries

Many of the complaints about turkey burgers – they’re bland, or dry, or boring – all get laid to rest with the Gobble Gobble.  Through the clever use of melty cheddar cheese, herbaceous stuffing, and sharply sweet chutney, you never have a chance to lament the fact that there are no glisteny red juice puddles muddying your plate.  All of the elements work in perfect harmony here, with the seasoning on the patty being a bit understated to leave room for the powerful condiments to do their job.  The chutney having both cranberries and apples helps add a sweet and tart component that plays with the overall flavor much like caramelized onions, with the stuffing adding a fluffy bounce and deep onion richness.

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Top of the bun with nice layer of stuffing

When you get a bite with both cranberry and stuffing (which is most of the time) you are immediately transported to Thanksgiving dinner in the most deliciously comfortable way imaginable.  Even the onion bun, which is the most minuscule of modifications to their usual burger bun, emulates that tasty soft dinner roll you use to sop up all the gravy at the end of the years best meal.

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Up close and personal with the onion bun

If you find yourself abruptly out of leftovers and fiending for one last Thanksgiving fix, the Gobble Gobble will be available through the end of the month.  If you’ve missed out and/or are completely sick of cranberries and turkey, you can join me in waiting with fingers crossed for an encore appearance next November.
Rating: 9/10

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YUM

Jack’s Prime is located at 3723 S El Camino Real in San Mateo, CA, and are also home to insanely perfect sweet potato fries, the best garlic fries outside of AT&T park, and the most beautifully balanced peppery sweet BBQ sauce you’ll have anywhere not serving brisket.

REVIEW: Quest Beyond Cereal Bars (All three flavors)

The all-influential and trend-setting folks at Quest Nutrition are back at it again with a new line of portable protein – Beyond Cereal bars. The bars attempt to emulate the mainstream cereal bar, somewhere in between the Lucky Charms 7/11-available variety and the popular Red Berry line by Special K.

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As with most Quest products these bars are laced with both protein (12 grams) and fiber (7 grams), and only 110 calories each. The big difference here is the amount of sugar, clocking in at 8 grams, or four times the amount typically found in a Quest protein bar. The kicker is apparently the listed grams of sugar aren’t actually the same as the ones normally listed because they come from allulose, which has one tenth of the calories of actual sugar (despite being required to be listed in the sugar column).  This is the first widely distributed product on the market made with allulose and to be honest I have no idea how it works, but its flavor is certainly more convincing than the other alternate sweeteners typically used in protein products.

The bars launched this week with three flavors and I’m going to rate and review all three from most fire to most tepid, but heads up, they’re all pretty solid.

Waffle: This bar is delicious. Immediately upon opening the package you’re hit with the strong smell of maple syrup, not the stuff that actually comes from trees but the Aunt Jemima Log Cabin Sunday morning nostalgia kind of syrup. Somehow the taste isn’t overwhelmingly sweet, and the use of allulose allows the bar to avoid the artificial Sucralose taste that sometimes plagues Quest products. The texture is soft and chewy like a Rice Krispy treat with an undercurrent of buttery graham cracker. What makes this flavor particularly intriguing is there are no other products with this profile currently on the market. If this bar were an actual cereal it would be Golden Grahams, and it’s a damn fine substitute.  I had to buy this bar a second time to make sure I liked it as much as I thought and it’s without a doubt my favorite Quest product of the year.
Rating: 9/10

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Cinnamon Roll: Beautiful cinnamon flavor with a slight buttery toasty undertone – this bar is Cinnamon Toast Crunch all the way. It is the only one where the white drizzle on top seems to really stand out, adding a nice touch of creaminess and sweetness to highlight the spice. The spices aren’t overwhelming but are very much there, and this is the first time I’ve really marveled at the fact that this whole line isn’t actually cereal. Really cool for people with gluten intolerance to be able to enjoy something that emulates a cereal bar so well. Only downside to this one is it is the only bar of the three that has a bit of a fake sugar Sucralose flavor, even though it uses allulose as its primary sweetener.
Rating: 8/10

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Chocolate: This bar has less of everything. Less aroma, less sweetness, less pop on the initial bite. The texture is a bit softer but also grainier than the waffle or cinnamon, and its main strength is a deep cocoa taste. The chocolate here is not suggesting milk chocolate like Cocoa Pebbles but it isn’t as bitter as straight cocoa either. It’s got a natural chocolatey-ness that’s more convincing than most Quest products. The base flavor is not too far off from a less sweet Oreo, and doesn’t emulate any particular name brand cereal I’ve had on the market (RIP Oreo O‘s and shoutout Junk Banter for that comparison). If you’re a fan of Cocoa Puffs you will likely dig this but don’t expect it to taste exactly like the actual cereal you grew up loving.
Rating: 7.5/10

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Overall the Quest Beyond Cereal lineup is a slam dunk.  They have managed to make something awesome that I didn’t even know I needed in my life and I will be a repeat customer.  A quick fix snack bar that provides the comfort of a nostalgic breakfast with portability, protein, and fiber to boot.  The only issue with this line is the price point – being offered at a very similar cost to a regular Quest bar in most retailers ($2.39), but only having around half the protein and fiber you would typically get at that dollar amount.  A great snack but probably not suitable for a meal replacement, although you can always just crush two if you’re feeling spendy and hungry.

Overall Quest Beyond Cereal rating: 8/10

Quick Nutrition:
110 calories – 4.5g fat – 10mg Cholesterol – 170mg Sodium – 17g Carbs – 7g Fiber – 8g Sugar – 12g Protein

REVIEW: Fit Joy Winter Peppermint Bark

Ho ho ho!  Not content with leaving the biggest holiday of the year with only one cheat clean savior, Fit Joy have taken a stab at the mid-2000’s favorite chocolate fad with Winter Peppermint Bark.
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Immediately and unmistakably this bar screams Christmas. The aroma of white chocolate and peppermint twirl and whirl their way out of the wrapper like ballerinas in the Nutcracker while red mint flavored crisps line the top like lights on a tree. Unfortunately, after taking your first delicious bite you’re left wondering whether you just kissed the sugar plum fairy or took a secret swig off of some 100 proof peppermint schnapps – this thing is MINTY.

Much like Fit Joy‘s initial Mint Chocolate Crisp bar, the peppermint in the bark version is still too strong. Peppermint extract (“natural flavor”) is such a sharp flavor that it can be easily overdone, and this bar suffers in that regard. What works here, though, is that the yogurt dipped vanilla-y presence of the rest of the bar helps hold back some of the mint rush and is much more balanced than the brands first minty attempt. Whereas Mint Chocolate Crisp hit with the force of a York peppermint patty, this bar simply tastes like a peppermint bark where the chef got a little buzzed and heavy handed with the mint.

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Had Fit Joy rolled back about 20% of the mint flavor they would have had a second seasonal home run on their hands. Still gotta give them credit for tackling a white chocolate/vanilla/etc twist on peppermint and not just being content with a single limited release.

Rating: 7/10