food review

REVIEW: Optimum Nutrition Cake Bites (All four flavors!)

/ seansskillet / 4 Comments

Cake bites, cake pops, cake truffles, petit fours…whatever you want to call them, they’re hot and the trend is as booming as ever.  So booming, in fact, that they’ve eclipsed the pastry scene, and like most delicious sweet things, have found themselves in the protein imitation universe.  Optimum Nutrition, whose 2016 line of protein bars were pretty lackluster, are kicking off 2017 with three flavors of protein cake bites – Birthday Cake, Chocolate Dipped Cherry, and Red Velvet (UPDATE: in August they added a fourth flavor – mini review added at the bottom).  Each package contains three circular cake bites that equal 20 grams of protein, under 25 grams of carbs, and 230-240 calories.  I’m going to break down each flavor and rate them against each other as well as on a whole.

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Birthday Cake:
The texture is softer than your average protein bar with the whipped aspect bringing a bit more bounciness and squish while still staying firm. It doesn’t particularly remind me of cake but it is different than your typical Quest or Oh Yeah! ONE bar. The vanilla flavor is strong but not overwhelmingly sweet and there is no artificial aftertaste. The strongest element of this bites’ flavor is a really wonderful buttercream finish that leaves your mouth creamy and clean with a whisper of sweetness.

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The round sprinkles on top add a nice crunch and even though there is a bit of protein flavor the whole experience feels more pastry shop authentic than most protein bars.  This is a safe flavor to offer because it tends to be popular, but it’s also competitive as there are already good options out there.

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This is not a better take on cake than MuscleTech’s Nitro bar or the Oh Yeah! One version bit it’s still pretty solid.  Rating: 7.5/10

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Chocolate Dipped Cherry:
The different fluffy texture is really at play and more effective here. It reminds me of a mousse or a marshmallow the way it holds its form yet is soft and pillowy. The cherry flavor, while it doesn’t taste like any cake I’ve ever had, is spot on and very reminiscent of a cherry Tootsie Pop in the best way. Cherry flavored things are either disgusting and medicinal or tasty and sweet like our favorite childhood candies and this cake circle falls into the latter category.  Some people will definitely hate this flavor immediately because of its sweetness but I enjoy it.

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The chocolate coating is a bit thin and could be darker but ultimately works well to counter the cherry candy flavor and make a good balanced bite. I have never had a flavor like this in a protein bar and creativity always wins extra points in my book. Rating: 8/10

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Red Velvet:
The texture on this one most closely resembles its namesake, with that slightly dense cocoa-kissed red base being the star of the show. The initial flavor is all vanilla and not too different from Birthday Cake, but then finishes with the appropriate hint of chocolate. The coating could use more of a cream cheese tang to truly drive the red velvet flavor but it has a touch of tang and is definitely creamy which helps provide the “frosting” contrast.

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This one also gets extra points for being a less predictable flavor for protein bars, with the only other option out there being the solid YUP brands’ BUP bar, which I’ve only had when ordering online due to weird/poor distribution.  Not surprisingly I think this is the least sweet of all three and is a pretty decent version of the sought after Southern cake.  Rating: 7.5/10

While these definitely aren’t a spot on spin on little bites of cake, they are a fresh take on the ever-growing market of portable protein snacks.  One thing I don’t like about this line is the decision to include zero fiber.  I don’t need 15-20 grams of fiber in a bar but throwing in 5-10 grams helps hit the nutritional needs and balance out the impact of the carbs – neither of which you get when choosing these over another supplement.  While the flavors all rated slightly higher, I’m going to give ON Cake Bites a slightly lower rating overall because of the nutritional makeup, but will still purchase these every so often.

Overall rating: 7/10

UPDATE: In August ON added a fourth flavor to the lineup – Chocolate Frosted Donut.

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This one is pretty much in line with the quality of the initial three flavors, although I like it slightly less. The sprinkles on top are just like the ones on Birthday Cake and add a nice crunch to offset the generally soft and squishy whipped interior of the bite. Does it taste like a donut? Barely. As in, it doesn’t taste like a donut for 80% of the chew and then right towards the end I get a little bit of golden egginess that reminds me of a cake donut.  Not a yeast donut like the package would imply, and not very much at all, but there’s a touch. Much like the first three there’s no weird fake sugar aftertaste and the protein vibes are present but subtle. ON’s flavor game isn’t anywhere near the level of Oh Yeah! but this is still a decently tasty product nonetheless, even if slightly below the initial three flavors.  The macros are almost identical except this one has 250 calories instead of the 230-240.

Rating: 7/10

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REVIEW: Green Tea IT’S-IT Ice Cream Sandwich

/ seansskillet / 5 Comments

When thinking of the Bay Area many things come to mind.  The Grateful Dead, Metallica, giant stuffed burritos, fortune cookies, whimsical rainbow flags…but what about ice cream sandwiches?  For me, one of the greatest pieces of San Francisco history is the invention of the ice cream sando as we know it, thanks to George Whitney and his brilliant IT’S-IT, circa 1928.  For those unfamiliar with the creamy concoction, it combines a scoop of ice cream (originally vanilla), in between two oatmeal cookies dunked in chocolate, aka, it’s pure awesome-ness.  August 2016 saw the first new IT’S-IT in years with the debut of their seventh flavor – Green Tea.  It took me a little while to track one down but I made a visit to their factory in Burlingame and walked away a richer man.

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Green tea ice cream falls into one of two camps – awesome and true to the flavor of beautifully steeped tea, or, weird and overly sweet with a strange maple flavor.  Fortunately for IT’S-IT and all of us consuming their killer cream sandwiches, this matcha-based goodness falls into the first category and is a pure step back Steph Curry swish off the dribble.  It’s velvety smooth and fluffy with lovely natural grassy notes throughout – it really tastes just like a cup of perfectly steeped tea smooched with milk and sugar. Like most IT’S-IT ice cream flavors it’s not very sweet, which leaves room for the cookies and chocolate coating to do their job driving the sweetness.

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The cookies are soft and cinnamon-y with that lovely oatmeal texture that compliments the thin layer of dark chocolate perfectly.  One of the only problems with IT’S-IT’s is depending on how frozen they are or how long they’ve been sitting the cookies can sometimes get hard – not the case from this factory-fresh one at all.  Since most of the sweetness is coming from the cookies their spicy undertones and buttery cookie texture really pop against the subtle flavor of the green tea.  For those raisin haters out there that haven’t had an IT’S-IT before, have no fear, ain’t no dried grapes here.

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My favorite IT’S-IT flavors are the ones that provide the most contrast – vanilla, strawberry, and mint, and the green tea one falls right into that same category of a base flavor that stands on its own but blends seamlessly with the sandwich elements.  It’s a great addition to an already fantastic lineup of bay area classics that should be delicious to tea lovers and doubters alike.

Rating: 9/10

REVIEW: flapJACKed Buttermilk Protein Pancake and Baking Mix

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While I have so far only had experience with their Mighty Muffins, what flapJACKed is most well known for is their Protein Pancake and Baking Mix.  Utilizing a combination of whole oat flour and both whey and pea protein, they’ve put together a mixture that delivers approximately three pancakes for only 200 calories that provides 20 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber.  Sounds almost too good to be true, but my good luck with the Mighty Muffin’s recently has me feeling optimistic.

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Opening the bag it looks and smells like tan flour with no distinguishable pancake or waffle aromas except for a hint of sweet and salty shimmer.  Once you add in the 1/3 cup cold water, however, it smells distinctly like a pancake or biscuit dough, with the slight tang of buttermilk and a Bisquick familiarity.  Let the mixture sit for three minutes to thicken up, and all of the prep work is done.

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I decided to start with a sacrificial cake and try the ratios exactly as recommended.  Coming off the griddle the pancake has a lovely sweet and cake-like smell with a solid fluffy appearance and bounce.  On its own the taste is a little dry and bland, with a slight grainy texture.  It reminds me a bit of when I make my own pancakes with whole wheat flour and don’t do anything to try and transform the flavor.  To be fair though, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a naked pancake, and when the classic butter and syrup combination is applied the flavor is greatly improved.  The texture holds up just like a traditional pancake but a bit more dense and tough.

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For the second, full batch, I added a little bit more water to thin out the batter, in hopes that they may cook a little more evenly with a slightly less tough result.  This was the right move, as these cakes are fluffier and wider with an overall more appealing look.  The smell, once again, is fantastic, with the flavor being good but a bit muted.  I tried them again with the classic butter and syrup combo and they were great.  Not as intensely indulgent as a true stack of pancakes but for 200 calories, 23 carbs, and 20 grams of protein these are a fantastic tradeoff.  To really put the cake to the test I made a short stack in a fashion that I would actually make if I was cooking from scratch; with syrup, butter, banana, blackberries, and peanut butter.

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This was absolutely delicious, and the exact reason why this product has such potential, because when most people, myself included, eat pancakes or waffles, we put so many additional things on them that the base flavor gets lost.  The flapJACKed pancakes give you a great filling and fluffy base by which to build your masterpiece and leave extra macro-space for syrups, fruits, and delicious spreads.

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The protein pancake masters at flapJACKed have slowly become one of my favorite companies, delivering great products that are filling, delicious, and an exciting way to still enjoy a weekend breakfast without the inevitable carb and sugar crash.  I’ll be on the lookout for other mixes but this Buttermilk version is a fantastic start to any pancake or waffle creation.
Rating: 9/10

REVIEW: Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar

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Yep, 2017 really is the year that dreams come true. The GOAT American grocery cookie Oreo and wonderful Swiss chocolate company Milka had a couple of late night drinks together, made sweet love, and gave birth to the Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar. It’s as simple as it sounds and has been executed beautifully. Let’s dig in.

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Immediately I’m greeted with really high quality smooth and sweet milk chocolate bursting with authentic Oreo flavor. The ratio inside of creme to cookie is awesome and unpredictable – sometimes you’ll get a little more creme and sometimes you’ll encounter a big cookie chunk.  The creme has that signature creamy foundation with just a hint of graininess and the cookies are as crispy and crunchy as opening a freshly sealed pack of Oreo from the store.  The taste overall reminds me almost exactly of a milk chocolate covered Oreo with all three of the components really well represented.

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I was also fortunate enough to find the original version of this bar that has been available outside of the States for awhile, so I thought I would compare the flavor of the two.

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The chocolate on the “Milka and Oreo” version seems thinner and is lacking the richness and milky depth of the US one. It tastes less chocolatey and less sweet at the same time, and doesn’t help to elevate the creme beyond what feels like textural filler. The cookies also seem smaller and kind of soft, almost stale, and lacking in that signature Oreo crunch that makes the stateside bar so tasty.  Maybe this bar was sitting around for awhile but it’s not expired and my initial impression is that it tastes cheaper and is surprisingly inferior to the one seeing massive distribution right now.

The Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar truly eats like a perfect hybrid between snack cookie and candy. It deviates just enough from a traditional cookie or bar of chocolate to make a satisfying new product yet tastes like something you’ve had before in the best way. It would be awesome to see Milka and Nabisco collaborate further to release some of the more rare yet popular flavors like Cinnamon Bun, Birthday Cake, or Peanut Butter.  It should also be noted that this bar is available in four varieties – the smaller, single serve one that I tried which has six breakable pieces, as well as a wider, thinner bar, a king size of the version from this review, and the Big Crunch Bar which is massive with a single layer of cookie in the middle.

Rating: 9/10

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REVIEW: Smart Made Chicken with Spinach Fettuccine

/ seansskillet / 2 Comments

I wish I could cook every night, or go out for some delicious yet nutritious meal at a wonderful restaurant, but I can’t.  Cooking, which I do frequently, takes time and consideration and creativity – things that I don’t always have at my disposal.  As a result, two or three times a week I look for a quick fix; and a healthy, protein heavy frozen meal that I can pair up with fresh salad is one of my meals of choice.  The best brands I’ve found are Healthy Choice Steam Bowls, Lean Cuisine Comfort, and Smart Ones, who have just released a new line of even better looking frozen dinners called Smart Made – touting less weird additives, less salt, and subtle ingredient switches that make for wiser choices.  A pretty impressive row of interesting flavors lead me to try something classic – Chicken With Spinach Fettuccine.

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Let’s not sugar coat this – a frozen meal is a frozen meal and it can only be so good.  In fact, it’s not something I would ever think to review but this line is so new that I couldn’t find any opinions on them so I thought I would give it a shot.  The aspect that most appealed to me about this entree was its nutritional stats – 220 calories, 6 grams of fat, 19 grams of carbs, and 22 grams of protein – pretty damn solid.  Additionally, the Smart Made sous-chefs swapped a regular Alfredo cream-based sauce for one made with ricotta and white bean puree, which sounded interesting and delicious.  So, how goes it taste?

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As with most calorie-cautious microwave meals the serving is pretty small, but what’s inside actually tastes pretty good.  They used a thicker spinach fettuccine that was less gummy and weird than a lot of frozen noodles.  Not quite aldente, the noodles held a firmness that meshed with the roasted tomatoes and spinach well, holding onto the thick creamy sauce that you would never guess didn’t have tons of cream in it.

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The chicken, while still a little too salty, didn’t have that odd overly wet texture that more processed meat can often have.  It had a nice light charred taste to it and was easily the best chicken I’ve had from a black plastic container.  The whole experience mirrors that of a fettuccine alfredo but slightly lighter and less cheesy.  The “meal” does come out as sort of a strange zapped ball, but once you separate the pieces and back it up with some fresh veggies it’s not a bad choice for something fast and easy.

Rating: 8/10

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REVIEW: flapJACKed S’Mores Mighty Muffin

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S’mores is one of the most popular flavors in snack foods the last couple of years, dominating everything from Oreo’s to breakfast cereal to ice cream to protein bars, so it’s no surprise that flapJACKed decided to try this flavor for their Mighty Muffin.  Although I’ve never had a regular s’mores muffin I like the idea and it should be relatively easy to pull off if you can get all three elements to come across – graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate.  Fortunately for flapJACKed they got all three into a magical microwavable protein bomb you make yourself in 35 seconds.

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In my mind the perfect s’mores muffin would be a golden honey graham base loaded with marshmallows, chocolate, and additional chunks of graham cracker.  This Mighty Muffin has all of those components except for the cracker pieces and I can accept that as a pretty solid attempt.  The first thing you will notice is the very strong graham cracker aroma that comes from the freshly zapped muffin.  Much like a good cup of tea the smell is a lot stronger than the actual taste but the honey undercurrent is there and ties the whole s’mores experience together.  The importance of the graham oftentimes gets overlooked when companies try to make a s’mores flavor and I commend flapJACKed for not ignoring this pivotal piece of the campfire puzzle.

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Freshly zapped and muffin-esque

Putting my fork in I find marshmallows and chocolate immediately.  Although small, they are ample, and I’m never left searching for them as I continue to eat.  The chocolate chips get a little bit melty, but oddly enough the marshmallows stay completely firm, so the texture lacks that ooey gooey goodness that make s’mores so fun.  This is a bit disappointing considering the muffin comes out hot, but the sweetness of the marshmallows helps elevate the graham cracker taste in the muffin base and genuinely adds to the s’mores experience despite their lack of meltiness.  Think of these ‘mallows as more like the ones you get on top of Swiss Miss packaged hot chocolate that disappear almost immediately rather than a fresh pack of Jet Puffed.

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Much like the Double Chocolate version I reviewed earlier, this muffin benefits greatly from a little additional moisture and sweetness, either from fruit or nut butter.  The obvious pairing here is D’s Naturals S’mores Fluffbutter, which was awesome, but I found Nuts ’N More’s Birthday Cake spread to really take the s’mores experience to the next level.  This little addition helped fill in the melty gaps I was missing from the marshmallows and created a wonderful protein-loaded eating experience.  This product is not perfect but good enough to keep me trying the rest of their flavors in search of the ultimate Mighty Muffin.

Rating: 7/10

Quick Nutrition: 210 calories – 6g fat – 350mg Sodium – 24g Carbs – 5g Fiber – 10g Sugar – 20g Protein

REVIEW: Quest Beyond Cereal Bars (All three flavors)

/ seansskillet / 3 Comments

The all-influential and trend-setting folks at Quest Nutrition are back at it again with a new line of portable protein – Beyond Cereal bars. The bars attempt to emulate the mainstream cereal bar, somewhere in between the Lucky Charms 7/11-available variety and the popular Red Berry line by Special K.

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As with most Quest products these bars are laced with both protein (12 grams) and fiber (7 grams), and only 110 calories each. The big difference here is the amount of sugar, clocking in at 8 grams, or four times the amount typically found in a Quest protein bar. The kicker is apparently the listed grams of sugar aren’t actually the same as the ones normally listed because they come from allulose, which has one tenth of the calories of actual sugar (despite being required to be listed in the sugar column).  This is the first widely distributed product on the market made with allulose and to be honest I have no idea how it works, but its flavor is certainly more convincing than the other alternate sweeteners typically used in protein products.

The bars launched this week with three flavors and I’m going to rate and review all three from most fire to most tepid, but heads up, they’re all pretty solid.

Waffle: This bar is delicious. Immediately upon opening the package you’re hit with the strong smell of maple syrup, not the stuff that actually comes from trees but the Aunt Jemima Log Cabin Sunday morning nostalgia kind of syrup. Somehow the taste isn’t overwhelmingly sweet, and the use of allulose allows the bar to avoid the artificial Sucralose taste that sometimes plagues Quest products. The texture is soft and chewy like a Rice Krispy treat with an undercurrent of buttery graham cracker. What makes this flavor particularly intriguing is there are no other products with this profile currently on the market. If this bar were an actual cereal it would be Golden Grahams, and it’s a damn fine substitute.  I had to buy this bar a second time to make sure I liked it as much as I thought and it’s without a doubt my favorite Quest product of the year.
Rating: 9/10

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Cinnamon Roll: Beautiful cinnamon flavor with a slight buttery toasty undertone – this bar is Cinnamon Toast Crunch all the way. It is the only one where the white drizzle on top seems to really stand out, adding a nice touch of creaminess and sweetness to highlight the spice. The spices aren’t overwhelming but are very much there, and this is the first time I’ve really marveled at the fact that this whole line isn’t actually cereal. Really cool for people with gluten intolerance to be able to enjoy something that emulates a cereal bar so well. Only downside to this one is it is the only bar of the three that has a bit of a fake sugar Sucralose flavor, even though it uses allulose as its primary sweetener.
Rating: 8/10

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Chocolate: This bar has less of everything. Less aroma, less sweetness, less pop on the initial bite. The texture is a bit softer but also grainier than the waffle or cinnamon, and its main strength is a deep cocoa taste. The chocolate here is not suggesting milk chocolate like Cocoa Pebbles but it isn’t as bitter as straight cocoa either. It’s got a natural chocolatey-ness that’s more convincing than most Quest products. The base flavor is not too far off from a less sweet Oreo, and doesn’t emulate any particular name brand cereal I’ve had on the market (RIP Oreo O‘s and shoutout Junk Banter for that comparison). If you’re a fan of Cocoa Puffs you will likely dig this but don’t expect it to taste exactly like the actual cereal you grew up loving.
Rating: 7.5/10

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Overall the Quest Beyond Cereal lineup is a slam dunk.  They have managed to make something awesome that I didn’t even know I needed in my life and I will be a repeat customer.  A quick fix snack bar that provides the comfort of a nostalgic breakfast with portability, protein, and fiber to boot.  The only issue with this line is the price point – being offered at a very similar cost to a regular Quest bar in most retailers ($2.39), but only having around half the protein and fiber you would typically get at that dollar amount.  A great snack but probably not suitable for a meal replacement, although you can always just crush two if you’re feeling spendy and hungry.

Overall Quest Beyond Cereal rating: 8/10

Quick Nutrition:
110 calories – 4.5g fat – 10mg Cholesterol – 170mg Sodium – 17g Carbs – 7g Fiber – 8g Sugar – 12g Protein

REVIEW: Fit Joy Iced Gingerbread Cookie

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This summer Fit Joy burst onto the protein scene, pecs-a-boomin, and have been relentless in their attempt to dominant the market ever since. I’m not sure who their connect is but based on their prominent displays and promotions at GNC, The Vitamin Shoppe, and others, they really truly have the plug. After launching with six flavors, Fit Joy followed up with a limited seasonal Homemade Pumpkin Pie bar (which was okay), and are now trying to tempt Kris Kringle with additional holiday offerings. The first of these winter collection bars is Iced Gingerbread Cookie.

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Visually the bar is the same as all other non-cookie dough and mint Fit Joy‘s – a whey protein rectangle dipped in yogurt and topped with a garnish. The topping on this bar looks like little pieces of gingerbread cookies with the mellow aroma of cinnamon. The overall smell of the bar isn’t much different from the pumpkin pie or cinnamon bun with a sweet and subdued spice.

Biting in, a slightly crunchy texture from little crispy balls hidden inside the protein base gives way to a yogurt-driven sweetness that turns into a wonderful sharp ginger flavor. The ginger tastes authentic and finishes with the perfect spicy tingle that leaves you wanting more. The sweetness is on par with other Fit Joy flavors – definitely a dominant role but not overpowering or fake tasting in any way. The cinnamon crisps on top of the bar do a good job of emulating some of the snap you would get from a ginger cookie while also adding more cinnamon flavor.
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What makes this bar successful is that “Organic Ginger” appears in the ingredient list ahead of Stevia, and the experience as a whole feels more like eating a gingerbread cookie and less like a stick of fake sugar, which can’t be said for all protein bars.  Other companies should take notice and try and use more real ingredients when emulating flavors – especially spices.  Fit Joy’s mission statement is to use no artificial preservatives or sweeteners and the resulting experience is clean and refreshing.

Overall this bar is more impressive than their Homemade Pumpkin Pie and ranks among the best of their initial launch line, in the same class as Chocolate Peanut Butter, French Vanilla Almond, and Chocolate Iced Brownie. Great to see a protein bar company tackle a slightly different flavor than what’s on the market and have lots of success.

Rating: 8/10

Quick Nutrition: 220 cals – 10mg Cholesterol – 190mg Sodium – 24g Carbs – 10g Fiber – 5g Sugar – 20g Protein