junk food

JC’s Scoops’ Tea & Biscuits

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Tea time is a special time. Whether doing it up super proper with finger sandwiches and scones garnished with Devonshire cream, or just making a cup at home and cozying up with a good book, the relaxing nature of warmth and caffeine brings joy to my soul. Pair that up with a delicious sweet treat and you have yourself an ultimate recipe for success. The same can be said for a mellow date to the ice cream shop, full of brimming scoops and smiles; few activities top my list of good times like those defined by waffle cones. Once again tugging at my heart strings to combine the best of both worlds into one experience, JC’s Scoops gave the world Tea & Biscuits, which is sweet milk tea ice cream with ribbons of cookie butter and pieces of tea biscuits.

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REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Salty Honey Toffee Milk Chocolate Covered Crackers

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Among the onslaught of holiday cookies, cakes, and candies, someone has to bring the crackers, right? Granted, that cracker will likely be spread with some rich pimento cheese, brie, or something else with a crazy amount of lush fat in it, but Trader Joe’s took it a step further. It’s Christmas, after all, the most indulgent time of the year, and crackers ought to be covered in chocolate. Not only covered in chocolate, but topped with salted honey toffee, diced almonds, and even a hint of coffee. Crackers? Cookies? Who knows, who cares, it’s time to eat.

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REVIEW: Baskin Robbins’ YORK Peppermint Pattie

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year…to overdose on mint. While winter is the perfect time to let the chill in the air become the chill in your mouth, there’s one candy that reps the cooling effect year round like no other – YORK Peppermint Pattie’s. Thick, dense, chewy, and intensely minty, it’s the kind of candy you either love or hate, and fortunately for me I get down with the choco-mint overload. Continuing their tradition of collaborating with all of the biggest candy brands, Baskin Robbins have brought back the aptly titled YORK Peppermint Pattie for December, which combines mini YORK peppermint patties and a rich dark chocolate mint ribbon swirled in mint ice cream.

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REVIEW: Ample Hills’ No Sleep Til Pumpkin

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It wasn’t until 2003, with Starbucks’ introduction of the Pumpkin Spice Latte, that the two very different but very popular world’s of coffee and pumpkin pie would collide to create one of the most iconic and polarizing drinks of the last fifteen years. It’s hard to imagine a time when the two flavors didn’t coexist, and with everything from M&M’s to Peeps to Bath & Body Works body wash emulating the cafe concotion, it’s fitting that ice cream is no stranger to the coveted combination. As their sole pumpkin offering for 2017, Ample Hills brought back No Sleep Til Pumpkin, which is dark coffee ice cream with pieces of pumpkin ooey gooey butter cake.

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REVIEW: Hershey’s Gold Peanut & Pretzel

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I can still remember the triumphant day that Hershey’s Cookies ‘n Creme arrived in my junk food universe. It was the mid-90’s and I was a wee lad, looking for something to mix up the brown-dominant palate of the candy aisle. Everything seemed to be chocolate based, and out of nowhere appeared a snowy beacon of hope. The white-chocolate-meets-wafer cookies bar was a revelation, and I fell in love right then and there, in 1995, and it has been one of my favorite Hershey’s branded products ever since. Fast forward 22 years later and Hershey’s are aiming to change the game yet again, and this time they’re adding a whole new dimension. Welcome to the world, the fourth member of the Hershey’s universe – it’s not milk, it’s not dark, it’s not white, it’s GOLD.

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REVIEW: Coolhaus’ Street Cart Churro Dough

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Like many people living on the West Coast, my first introduction to churro’s was amid the tasty backdrop of Disneyland’s Main Street. The crispy crunchy combination of fried dough covered in cinnamon and sugar became a staple and must-have anytime visiting the Magic Kingdom. Now, living in San Francisco, I often see the more true origin of churro’s, in little push carts in the streets of the Mission district, on a regular basis. While I don’t often indulge in the long sticks of spicy delight while hitting up the mish for some tacos, it’s a flavor combo I still hold dear to my heart, and if you throw that shit in some ice cream I’m on it like an abandoned twenty dollar bill. Coolhaus’ Street Cart Churro Dough combines brown butter ice cream with cinnamon sugar churro dough and a chocolate chip swirl.

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When I initially read the description of this flavor my eyes lit up with excitement over the brown butter ice cream, which is one of my favorites, and I’m happy to report that Coolhaus delivered big time with its execution. It’s velvety smooth and creamy with an unmistakable browned butter flavor that accentuates the richness of the high quality dairy perfectly. The butter is incredibly authentic, and even leaves a slick on my tongue like I just put pack multiple handfuls of freshly popped movie theater popcorn. It’s a subtle spin on your average vanilla or sweet cream that elevates ice cream’s decadence to new heights when it’s done well, and this one is exceptional.

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The pieces of churro dough are also really good. They’re small gritty balls of cinnamon sugar delight very reminiscent of the mix-in from Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns with a bit more crunch and salty shine. While their overall flavor is definitely sweet, there’s an undercurrent of saltiness that really drives the dough-y component home. The cinnamon pops strong against the brown butter base and the two work together perfectly.

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Calling the chocolate chips a swirl is pretty accurate, as they’re more integrated specks of chocolate throughout than actual chunks of chocolate. The pieces remind me a lot of the shavings in Baskin Robbins’ Chocolate Chip, and they bring more gentle crunch than actual chocolate flavor. The integration of flecks of chocolate rather than B&J’s style chunks or flakes is awesome as it allows the buttery cinnamon flavors to be the star of the show, and I’m never taken out of the creamy churro fantasy.

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This flavor is currently only available to be ordered through Coolhaus’ online shop, but when it makes its way into grocery stores early next year it will be a standout offering in the frozen section for those lucky enough to have it. Brown butter ice cream is very rare in more mainstream outlets and hopefully this one sparks a change, because the extra depth and richness is terrific.
Rating: 9/10

Found at: Coolhaus online shop.

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REVIEW: Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s

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Picking up right where they left off, creating new seasonal candies based on cute puns rather than flavor and holiday history, Mars have given birth to Peanut Brrr-ittle M&M’s. After autumn’s (moderate) success of Cookies and Screeem M&M’s, winter is getting a boost with some much needed shine to the superior peanut line of the classic candy that melts (and freezes?) in your mouth and not in your hand.

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The festive M&M’s come exclusively in green and red, so automatically the Christmas vibes are fully intact, even if peanut brittle isn’t a holiday profile I’m too accustomed to. The only connection I can draw to brittle and Christmas is that toffee-y things remind me of Grandma’s, and I always see my Grandma on Christmas. But Gma is more of straight up chocolate kind of gal, so brittle doesn’t really ring any jingle bells for my tastebuds.

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The actual flavor of the M&M’s is kind of weird. Peanut brittle is generally identifiable by a rich buttery toffee, and these taste more like a caramel flavoring, sans the butter. The caramel flavor hinges on being too artificial, and while there is some natural fatty flavor from the peanut, it doesn’t register like brittle as much as it does non-gooey caramel. I’m missing some of that rich, deep, brown sugar magic that comes from a real slab of brittle. I guess I could go so far as to say these definitely remind me of brittle, just moreso the kind from the dollar store than one I would actually want to chomp into with excitement.

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The other issue with this execution is that chocolate also isn’t really part of the peanut brittle flavor experience. The usual chocolate layer of the M&M is still very prominent, and the peanut isn’t actually caramelized in any kind of way, just flavored to taste like it. There’s no more crunch than a regular Peanut M&M, and the already near-perfect balance of the original is a bit thrown off. These aren’t a bad seasonal release, but not one I would feel inclined to buy again, especially when the regular offerings of Peanut, Peanut Butter, and Almond are all simpler, stronger, and less-artificial offerings.

Rating: 6.5/10

Found at: Target ($3.29)

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REVIEW: Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms

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Frosty the Snowman is my dude. I’m not sure if it’s normal for kids to latch onto Christmas characters like they would superheros or athletes, but as a youngster I certainly did, and Frosty will forever hold a place in my heart. Every time he came back to life was another chance for a birthday party, and birthday’s mean cake, and cake means fun, and thus, Frosty beats Rudolph. While the latest seasonal release from General Mills may not have an actual Frosty tie-in (Frosty has a button nose and is always smokin’ a pipe), it is proudly reppin’ one of his relatives, and my internal nostalgia switch began to melt as soon as I saw the swirly blue box for Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms.

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I’m gonna cut straight to the chase on this one – these Lucky Charms are not that spicy. The flavor is nearly identical to the established one kids (and adults?) have been chowing down on since 1964 – slightly sweetened toasted oats and crunchy dehydrated marshmallows. The key difference here is mostly aesthetic, as the usual array of rainbow colors have been replaced by cool wintery shades of blue and white. Snowmen, snowflakes, and snowballs cheerily swim in milk channeling a cool December day instead of the multicolored ending of a leprechaun hunt.

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I’m kind of surprised the cereal pieces don’t have any bite, since the box touts “frosted cinnamon oat cereal” very proudly, and I get zero cinnamon. That being said, there is a bit of cinna-flair in the marshmallows. When I get a spoonful with three or more winter-clad ‘mallows I get a sweet hit of cinnamon, but it’s very brief, and nowhere near the intensity of Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, Gingerbread Spice Life, or Cinnamon Pebbles. As for the vanilla, I think it goes without saying marshmallows have a vanilla-y flavor automatically, and I don’t detect any more or any less vanilla than I normally would from a box of Charms.

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Look, this cereal may not have the big cinnamon flavor that I had hoped for, but I cannot deny that Lucky Charms are still, in fact, magically delicious. The slight presence of spice in the marshmallows takes nothing away from the original recipe, and adds just a touch of holiday whimsy the ‘mallow-heavy bites. I’m slightly disappointed but I’m charmed by Lucky, and I’m a sucker for anything with cinnamon in it, even if it’s just a gentle whisper.

Rating: 8/10

Found at: Target ($2.99)

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