REVIEW: Caffe Panna Funfetti Crash

Funfetti Crash was a limited release New York only pint at Caffe Panna in June that I was able to add onto my Goldbelly order via an ancient technology known as a the telephone. Yes, that is the secret to plussing up your CP order — go old school — it’s worth it. This gorgeous pint is golden Oreo infused ice cream with funfetti cookie crumble and white chocolate curls…and honestly, all it’s missing is the party hat and streamers.

I’m not sure why this ice cream is so unbelievably addictive but I find it nearly impossible to stop digging. The base has so much golden Oreo vanilla flavor and cookie crumble integrated into it it practically has the texture of cake batter — gritty and dense yet still smooth and very creamy. The ice cream clings to the spoon like poetry with the occasional strong popping crunchy eruption of nonpareil sprinkles. I love a good textural contrast and this one happens so organically I’m transfixed. 

As fantastic as the base-meets-crumble combo is, the component that really sets this experience off are the white chocolate curls. I was greeted with a bunch at the very beginning and expected the curls to calm down, but they never do, and I find layer after layer of simple yet exquisite white chocolate all the way to the bottom of the pint. The curls are sweet and creamy with a gentle crunch that compliments the cookie-forward ice cream beautifully, and it’s some of my favorite white chocolate I’ve ever had paired with ice cream. 

Funfetti Crash isn’t doing anything fancy and it doesn’t need to, it’s elegant in its simplicity and executed with perfection. For those who love birthday cake flavored desserts, white chocolate, or weirdos who think the golden Oreo is superior to the original, this is an absolute must scoop whenever it shows up again at Caffe Panna’s beloved Manhattan storefront (or in one of their coveted packs that ship via Goldbelly). 

Rating: 10/10

Found at: Caffe Panna ($20)

REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Strawberry Lemonade Joe-Joe’s

It has been awhile since Trader Joe’s released a new flavor of Joe-Joe. There have been the seasonal staples of Candy Cane and Pumpkin, as well as 2016’s Mango variety popping back up, but when was the last time we got an entirely new flavor of Joe-Joe? I couldn’t tell ya an exact date, but I’m pretty sure this is the first one since the pandemic broke out in 2020. And if it isn’t, I have pandemic brain, which has melted away a lot of my memory — so apologies if I missed an all time Joe-Joe in the last 2.5 years. Strawberry Lemonade Joe-Joe’s combine a lemon flavored cookie with strawberry creme.

I ripped into these before realizing they were a lemon flavored cookie wafer, I was too excited to try a new and unique combination to read the box. I generally like Joe-Joe’s, but at times they can come off kind of flat, which isn’t the case here, and I’m going to place the responsibility for that on the non-plain cookie. They don’t have a particularly bold lemon flavor, no zest in sight, but they remind me instantly of the now-RIP’d Girl Scouts Lemon Sandwich Cookies, and that’s a very good thing. The cookie is soft and crumbly with a buttery undertone, which is surprising because these are vegan with no butter in the ingredients.

After the initial burst of mild lemon comes the rush of strawberry, which, thanks to actual pieces of dried strawberry in the creme, is pretty tart. I actually thought the wafers were more lemony than they were because the tart zing from the creme reminds me so much of lemon’s bright acidity, and they work really well together. The strawberry flavor is extremely natural with no artificial candy or Nesquick notes at all. While it does taste very natural, the combination of lemon and strawberry conjures up a milky spoonful of Froot Loops, but in the most clean and organic way possible.

While we may have had to wait a few too many years for them to pop up, these new Joe-Joe’s are fantastic, striking a beautiful balance between sweet and tart that will keep you gleefully snacking into the summer solstice. And yes, they are truly as refreshing as a cold glass of strawberry lemonade, and do that summery porch staple plenty of justice.

Rating: 9/10

Found at: Trader Joe’s ($3.99)

REVIEW: Krispy Kreme Oreo Cookie Glaze Doughnuts

Krispy Kreme and Oreo set out to prove that team work really can make the dream work with two new doughnuts paying homage to America’s favorite cookie. 

Oreo Cookie Over-the-Top is an Oreo Cookie glazed doughnut topped with Cookies and Kreme filling, drizzled with chocolate icing and finished with an Oreo cookie wafer.

Oreo Cookie Glazed Doughnut is an OG glazed covered in rich Oreo cookie glaze, filled with Cookies and Kreme, and finished with an icing drizzle and Oreo cookie pieces.

Does the Oreo cookie glaze taste like an Oreo cookie? No, not really, but it tastes like chocolate and chocolate is delicious so I’m totally on board. I can say with relative certainty that it IS different from the once-a-year (ish) Chocolate Glaze that KK started rolling out in 2017, as it has a thicker more pronounced body to it akin to novelty Donettes. It’s not as waxy as the finest Hostess and Little Debbie variety but the similarities are there and I am down.

The Over-the-Top is my favorite of the two, with its massive novelty-sized wafer being not only downright cool to look at but tasty and texturally intriguing, too. I eat doughnuts for dessert, so by the time I got to it the wafer was a bit softer than I would like but still tasted fantastic. Another element that set this one apart for me was the Kreme. The description says both are the same but if you look at my pictures the color is notably different and much lighter on the Over-the-Top doughnut. My KK tends to do a solid job with their filling but I can’t help but wonder if it’s a different batch or a different Kreme entirely?

Rating: 8.5/10 Over-the-Top and 8/10 Oreo Cookie Glazed 

Found at: Krispy Kreme ($1.89)

REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s

It’s finally officially autumn. Which means that the inside of Trader Joe’s looks like a pumpkin goblin vomited all over the entire store. And it’s goddamn beautiful. While many brands started rolling out their spooky seasonal selection in August, Trader Joe’s tends to wait until a more tasteful mid-September, but when they bring it, they BRING it. Pumpkin soup and pumpkin chips and pumpkin spreads and pumpkin pasta and on and on and on. Of course, not excluding pumpkin cookies. Somehow in my autumnal escapades last year I didn’t pen my thoughts on Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s. In fact, I didn’t even eat them last year. But the time has come for me to formally enter TJ’s mock-eo into the pumpkin catalog. Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s are pumpkin sandwich cookies with a pumpkin cream filling.

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REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Neapolitan Joe-Joe’s

I could’ve sworn the Neapolitan resurgence was over. After Peeps, M&M’s, and Cocoa Puffs did their best to revive the tri-flavor palate earlier in the year it felt like a done deal; but never leave out sneaky stylish Trader Joe’s when it comes to cashing in on a new trend. Last year the company released two of the best new sandwich cookies with Matcha Joe Joe’s and Mocha Joe Joe’s both being incredibly strong contenders holding their own against the handful of gems Nabisco dropped amid their flurry of Oreo’s. A quiet cookie drop to mark the last month of summer feels like a fitting way for Trader Joe’s to ease into the holiday insanity they’ve become known for. Neapolitan Joe Joe’s combine one chocolate wafer with one vanilla wafer and a strawberry crème filling.

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REVIEW: Limited Edition Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake Oreo

The music begins at a clear soft distance, your ears perk up and you stop whatever you’re doing. Once settled into your surroundings and putting the Gameboy down you can truly determine whether or not it is in fact the song or not. Yes, yes it is. My ears are hanging low. You tap your pockets. No money. You look around the room. Cushions. Crumpled pairs of pants. Stranded wallets. How can you make this happen. The adrenaline begins to rush as you see an abandoned dollar bill and some quarters laying on the kitchen counter. No need to blow your lungs yelling for mom. Money in hand you bust ass sliding on flip flops and bolting out the door before anyone can stop you. Chasing the ice cream man. A true right of passage for children across the world.

As a kid who spent five years in Nebraska in 109 degree humid as all hell summers I earned that cheap ice cream treat, and now, in 2018 I can get that fix without breaking a sweat or even opening the freezer with Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake Oreo’s.

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REVIEW: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreo

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie. Full disclosure – I’ve never had it.

I’ve had a standard cream based Peanut Butter pie, which was delicious. And a Reese’s-inspired cheesecake, which was, of course, amazing; but that’s kind of it for me and pie-shaped creations utilizing one of the world’s finest ingredients. Based on a little bit of internet research it looks like Choc PB Pie is a nice creamy peanut butter custard on a graham cracker crust with a thinner layer of chocolate ganache on top, and now I feel like I’ve been really missing out. Thank goodness the junk food overlords at Nabisco are here to wake me the eff up with a brand new apparently non-limited edition Oreo that combines a graham flavored wafer with a peanut butter and chocolate flavored creme.

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REVIEW: Pina Colada Oreo Thins (#MyOreoCreation)

Sometimes it feels like months with no new Oreo flavors, and at other times it seems like we get smacked over the head so abruptly that all I’m eating for a couple days is cookies. The end of April was definitely one of the latter moments, as all three #MyOreoCreation winners appeared magically over night. As a way of mixing up how I dug into my new stash, I opted to do a little taste test video of the new Pina Colada Thins instead of a straight-to-blog-review, and here’s that video:

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REVIEW: Kettle Corn Oreo (#MyOreoCreation)

When the finalists of #MyOreoCreation were announced I was sad that none of my picks made it, because not only am I (of course) a genius with the best taste buds ever, but I could have really used that bonus check. After I got done nursing my own wounds I immediately perked up at the idea of a Kettle Corn Oreo. Kettle Corn is one of the pinnacle’s of the sweet and salty snacking universe and its smell at any farmers markets or fair is enough to make me start salivating. For their twist on the carnival classic Nabisco paired a kettle corn flavored crème with puffed millet and a golden wafer cookie.

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REVIEW: Cherry Cola Oreo (#MyCookieCreation)

The time is finally here – the winners of the #MyOreoCreation contest have been birthed upon the grocery aisles of stores everywhere and the power to pick one true winner lies in our hands. Starting today (April 30) cookie crushers everywhere can vote for their favorite of the three chosen candidates, and I begin my escapades with the most interesting of the bunch – Cherry Cola. This odd drink-turned-cookie combines a cherry cola flavored crème with popping candy and a chocolate wafer.

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